Insistences of a Moonlit Mind

[goldenlangur]

Insistences of a Moonlit Mind

 

Everything is covered in letters.

Long, strong and black etchings

on the trunks of poplars

that span the hilltop.

 

Amidst their leafless shadows

the letters snake in the frost

past the broken gate

and over the barbed fence

to the mirror lake.

 

To each note of an invisible flute

the letters jump and swirl.

I hear the old oracle's voice:

 

'If you still your breath

and let the night in,

this is what you see' :

 

THE VOID IS LIGHT

 

The hare on the moon

dims in the flicker of dawn

I now close my eyes.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

hi goldenlangur, excellent poem. i had to read this several times to get a take on this. usually it is doc con that does this to me.

 

anyway,... first thing before i make my comments on the poem; is this. in the last staza - do you mean the "hair on the moon" or "hare on the moon" different spelling of that word (hair, here, hare) insignifies something different and for me conjures up different takes on the poem you might not of even realised by a maybe simple grammatical spelling personification just because of how complex the english language is even for one that is aswell versed as you are in 5 languages and studied in the english tongue my friend. hare in the english language is slang and a sceintic term for rabbit. hair is a layer thick or thin that covers surfaces including creatures and homo sapiens.

 

i also love this poem and enjoyed reading the rich texture of your liturgy in wave after wave of each passing sentence weaved together in stanza following stanza your sculped and painted on your canopy the computer screen second and a piece of rice paper first where you conjured up this masterpiece (perhaps lol).

 

i don't do this for many poems cause of my accident it strains the brain after i strain using it. so enjoy my take on each stanza.

 

**** now GL's poem...

 

Insistences of a Moonlit Mind

 

(the title. excellent choice for the reader setting up ideas of how alliteration can play with mind in fiction and reality. the title insinuates or conveys a mind that at this instance or perhaps always is bright but at certain time frames you GL imply they're insistences i will call sparks trigered by stimuli of all sorts. i say this because we humans have peaks such as we are hungry or hungrierer at times for substances which do vary and carry us in life in us all by choices in what we choose to eat some instances greater urges then in all instances depending on not only choices we male and uuultimately strive for but what fasccinate us and interests us all. in this case i will say substance for me is food which makes energy and what i eat varies depending on my level of used energy prior to my meal. the smell stimulates us giving us passsion and desires for certain conjured up recipes. and moonlight brings up some interesting perceptions depending on the readers choices of just what moonlight is perceived as in the poem and insinuates in the title. the moon is considered a feminine object and the name cynthia is used and the moon is part of the name cnythia's essence and personification implying lesser moon and lesser wisdom (read below lmao) but intelligence and knowledge unmatched in the essence of the name and feminine word. moonlit light is a perception of the mind of a goddess. notice i didnt say thee goddess Sophia the christian holy ghost and god the father's wife. sophia is feminine and a greek word for the english word wisdom which is neutar (german) or neutral, chok mah is the hebrew word for wisdom and is also feminine. eloah is the hebrew word which simply put means the goddess. i think the writer used the title "insistences of a moonlit mind" is simply after all that loose jargon by me will help youget a better understanding on my take for goldenlangur's choice of said mentioned title of a awesome poen i wish i wrote. i believe the word insistences is used because writer is dispondent with the idea of forceful feed idealogies of man and i will use the phrase forcefulness of a sunlit mind. this means what you see in the clear light is what you get and is supposed to not be questioned. i say this title and poem is a most clever but hidden meaning of the political play and powers of goldenlanguar's region of that part of the world. GL's wisom suggests actually his patinence has grown thin as this region of this particular part of the world rapidly and i mean fastly detoriates from lack of jobs. money, food, poor health of these desizens of the world this things such as death by hunger and malnutruition is growingf at a more then alarming rate. this is where the word insistences is urgently put forth in the title. moonlit mind is a perfect suggestion to solve the rising crisis of that region. excellent power play of words for title. a perfect title my friend. migh brake your rib dying laughing outload if i saw to ,uch on my take of a awesome excellent poem my friend. rage shows in the wisdom of your choices of words. i pray and hope this work survives future generatiions somehow. as for insistences of a moonlit mind the moon shines a less forceful light and is not only less forceful you can find over looked suggestions to solve region of world confessions of monetary system, pay wages, work hour understandings, health and food and medical that is universal for these people. moonlit this part of the world needs a universal strong leader all these people of that region can agree upon. this part of the world needs solutions fast. sworrow has already filled many homes with distress in this region. as for the word mind in this poem it is universal in all need to turn their brains to solve issues for we are all part of the whole that face that region. the word mind in the poem is also solatery in so,eone needs to take charge lead and be merciful with alternative methods for at least these people can have a fighting chance.

 

 

 

Everything is covered in letters.

Long, strong and black etchings

on the trunks of poplars

that span the hilltop.

 

 

this stanza reminds me of ancient days where nowadays you see mountain caves full of paintings and possible script. and is followed along with imagistic implanted thoughts suggested by the writer of heiroglyphics that cover pyramids and other ancient worldly objects and foundatrions as the end of the first stanza closes. given in mind your rich heritage of several nations in the mount6ains make me want to see what ancient emotology can be found that the forrests have covered up as civilization in your surroundings adapt to peoples of your lands(nations) modern cultivations and past heritage, lifestyles, living conditions, and emtertainment choices. which in most civilizations of the world was word of mouth;... till books in someplaces that being mostly written texts in scrolls or letters,... followed by newspapers radio television and nowadays computer and satelites. me having faith that the human race will somehow survive,... we will one day in far future i know talk by painting sugestions in a groups mind with no sound or lip movement not even sound in thje brain. we will be so advanced that we will speak with mind images and we all know a 1000 words paints a picture)

 

Amidst their leafless shadows

the letters snake in the frost

past the broken gate

and over the barbed fence

to the mirror lake.

 

this stanza above makes me think the writer is describeing something not only ancient but forgotton aswell. (maybe in the unrest we have forgotten to live civilized living in and even in some low evolved humans in some instances become barbaric or even not caring about those suffering or the pathes these that are uncompassionate choose walking over the multitudes if those that need many substances to escape darkways of living). now the last two words of the second stanza signifies some interesting suggestions imo. mirror lake which broken down first word mirror is something a reflection is given off. this choice of words can denote a place where deep thinking takes place in the solace of quiet time in nature by a lake that ripples silently that civilization seems to have forgot and a place where time is frozen by morden choice of words that describe how we are taken to the mirror lake described by the writers words as how we get to this enchanted place by the sway and choice of alliteration. amidst their leafless shadows gives us a take of the season the journey takes place in. fall of course. leaflessbranches of trees over the course of a forrest can spell out eerie letters words and picture sketches playing with the sensations of the mind and capacity of the consciousness maybe even wreaking havioc on the educated mind or iike a innocent minded child. it does these leafless branches of trees we can assume give off eerie passages which goldenlanguar describes by modern description. shadows snake in the frost past a broken gate. which gives us some realisation in the poems texture of litature used by author of poem. the way the word snake is used as a description is used my modernists talking about the courses of a rough winding river(s) that course was laid out over not only thousands of years but sometimes even millions of years. the word frost gives us even a better description of when adventure of journier(s) takes place. frost depicted at this junction of the poem also denotes early sunrise for one because the dew becomes frozen late in the night as darkness covers the land and as the frost is starting to melt at sunrise turning from frost to mist and a mist covers the lake making it look like a mirror. frost used here also can imply that winter season is approaching. frost ised here also implements late in autumn me living down south in the united states a frost can mean colder weather than exspected (and sometimes also earlier dates) that cold weather aka caused by the wind ocean moon and sun is approaching which causes for the dew a moisture that codensates over topical land to freeze turning to frost killing small plants and flowers because of a unexspected cold front. the midst would also lay close to land causing the skin to feel a chilly a dampness in the air. the midst doesnt rise to much because as it rises it becomes warm or turning into unseen water vapors etc...rising ever higher lol. GL since you live in the mountains and climate is controlled more by sun and wind than the moon and ocean in the mountains the wind can change the weather instantly. so the time of fall in the poem be it early or late fall for the time setting of the poem can be deceiving. ok next stanza lol.

 

 

To each note of an invisible flute

the letters jump and swirl.

I hear the old oracle's voice:

 

next above stanza. the wind howls like a flute unseen the melody of the wind appeases those on the journey to see the mirror lake the personification of calmness serinty and a glipse of what peace really is. of course the sun hasnt risen yet for thos seeking solutions to the issues of the ages. or the time of the day for the unwise who see the sunrise assumimg everything is fine and dandy and despite mas-consuming unrational criterias they don't see the darkness coming and the need for solutions sp they continue to live in disharmony and discord stepping over each other till nothing is left and then in the next passage is true revelation below us.

 

 

 

'If you still your breath

and let the night in,

this is what you see' :

 

for those that lack a faith they will not see the light of truth in the passage below for in the large ever increasing darkness the light of truth awaits thee in the great void of all which is swallowed up by the ever pertruding eternal light and there lays the truth. the stanza above. close your eyes in the insistences of moonlit mind and imagine the serene mirror lake where a bright light midst hovers above the lake imagine the light in the void that encompases us all grows in us all a midst like the one that covers this lake.

 

the author of the poem sees a great solution if we all work as one. he is insistent only in his work as a tool and means for all to be in harmony.

 

 

THE VOID IS LIGHT

 

The hare on the moon

dims in the flicker of dawn

I now close my eyes.

 

 

the last stanza the last glimpses of the endearing moon that gives us all bits of wonder and hope for of all things one that has faith that hangs on by a whisper of a thread of hair that the night's peaceful sleep his hope won't be his last night of a comfortable slumber. it will come again despite the civil unrest of the clashing cultures of this region of the world is goldenlangur's passion.

 

hehehehe

victor

Edited December 29, 2010 by Larsen M. Callirhoe

[dr_con]

Pure lunacy! ;-) And a very, very, very good piece. The images feel like the long golden/dark shadows of full moon light... The message is Daoist, Buddhist, humanist- while still launching fully into the mythic- I was moved and deeply impressed...

 

Well Done!

 

DC&J

[tonyv]

I, too, thought of cave drawings when I read the first verse. But past the broken gate/and over the barbed fence/to the mirror lake made me think of Badge's Aung San Suu Kyi. The mood of your poem is striking, especially the last verse and line.

 

Tony

[Lake]

Hi Golden,

 

Great write. I find you are expanding your works recently, maybe you've done this for a while since I've gone for a couple of months.

 

The images in the poem, carved letters on the trees, mirror lake, hare on the moon are very evocative of my experience, memory. You have created an ambiance in which the reader is led by your voice to cleanse his mind.

 

Enjoyed tremendously,

 

Lake

[badger11]

Insistences of a Moonlit Mind

 

Everything is covered in letters. ------------------------frames the poem from the beginning

Long, strong and black etchings --------- the assonance effect reinforced the tangible

on the trunks of poplars -----------specific, not generalised 'the trees', grounds the poem

that span the hilltop. ---------rather than ethereal/abstract/intangible - the images are concrete

 

Amidst their leafless shadows---------------this brought the populars to mind

the letters snake in the frost----fluidity of 'snake' etching the static 'frost, like writing on paper

past the broken gate--------- the alliteration of past/broken/barbed underlining the escape

and over the barbed fence-----------escape from the blinkered mind

to the mirror lake. -------------to the illuminated lake

 

To each note of an invisible flute-----------------I thought of the wind

the letters jump and swirl. --------------------------------clever parallel with leaves

I hear the old oracle's voice:

 

'If you still your breath

and let the night in,

this is what you see' :

 

THE VOID IS LIGHT

 

The hare on the moon

dims in the flicker of dawn

I now close my eyes.

 

your voice to cleanse his mind.

 

I agree with Lake on that point. It was a purpose of Hesse's writing and I find it in this poem.

 

badge

[Benjamin]

An excellent poem which lends itself to interpretation on different levels. It seems to hover in that enigmatic time between wakefulness and sleep where the crux lines are, “"To each note of an invisible flute/ the letters jump and swirl."” Much enjoyed. Benjamin , “

Edited January 3, 2011 by Benjamin

[goldenlangur]

Wow! Vic what a full and well-thought-out flow of thoughts from you.

 

 

I am touched and overwhelmed by the trouble you've taken to share your thoughts. Your idea of a search for an answer to our human suffering is far more noble and superior to what my little piece tries to describe. But it is wonderful that this piece triggered such lofty thoughts in you.

 

 

Re the hare on the moon - it is a reference to our belief which is quite similar to the western notion of a man on the moon. :D

 

 

Thank you so much for a fantastic flow of ideas and thoughts. I hope you're doing fine, my friend.

 

My warm wishes for your happiness and creative fulfillment in 2011. :wine:

Edited January 7, 2011 by goldenlangur

[goldenlangur]

Lunacy it is, DC ;)

 

Your reading of my piece is very generous and inspiring too:

 

And a very, very, very good piece. The images feel like the long golden/dark shadows of full moon light... The message is Daoist, Buddhist, humanist- while still launching fully into the mythic- I was moved and deeply impressed...

 

Well Done!

 

DC&J

 

 

Thank you very much. Wishing you and yours a great 2011. May all your creative dreams come true. :wine2:

[goldenlangur]

The link you included here is fabulous and thank you so much for this thoughtful read:

 

I, too, thought of cave drawings when I read the first verse. But past the broken gate/and over the barbed fence/to the mirror lake made me think of Badge's Aung San Suu Kyi. The mood of your poem is striking, especially the last verse and line.

 

Tony

 

I hope you have a wonderful 2011 :wine2:

[goldenlangur]

Hi Lake,

 

Great write. I find you are expanding your works recently, maybe you've done this for a while since I've gone for a couple of months.

 

You're spot on. I am trying to write a little more of free verse and outside the Japanese short forms. :)

 

The images in the poem, carved letters on the trees, mirror lake, hare on the moon are very evocative of my experience, memory.

 

 

I am delighted that these images have some resonance for you.

 

You have created an ambiance in which the reader is led by your voice to cleanse his mind.

 

Enjoyed tremendously,

 

Your assessment is most encouraging.

 

 

Thank you so much.

 

 

In case we don't cross paths in the forum, my warms wishes for the Year of the Metal Rabbit. I hope the Rabbit brings you joy and luck in all you do. :wine2:

[goldenlangur]

Thank you badge for the line-by-line assessment of words and images. I appreciate such critical feedback as I don't feel quite so confident about my free verse efforts. :D

 

 

This is very generous of you as I do enjoy Hesse's work:

 

I agree with Lake on that point. It was a purpose of Hesse's writing and I find it in this poem.

 

badge

 

Many thanks.

[goldenlangur]

An excellent poem which lends itself to interpretation on different levels. It seems to hover in that enigmatic time between wakefulness and sleep where the crux lines are, “"To each note of an invisible flute/ the letters jump and swirl."” Much enjoyed. Benjamin , “

 

 

I am delighted that the dream-like feel came across, Benjamin.

 

Now that I know you are a musician I can appreciate why this line appeals to you: ;)

 

To each note of an invisible flute/ the letters jump and swirl

 

Thank you for reading and posting your well-considered out thoughts.

[Aleksandra]

Goldenlangur. I like the mysteriousness in your poem, and its universality. The tone and atmosphere are expressed in a great way. And by the way, you are doing very fine with this free verse style. Keep doing it.

 

Aleksandra

[Tinker]

Hi GL, So much has already been said about this piece so I will make this short. Your poem gave me goosebumps, not scary goosebumps but the kind that happen when truth and beauty merge. This is probably my favorite of your works to date. Extraoridinary in content and delivery. Bravo!

 

~~Tink

[goldenlangur]

My apologies, Aleksandra and Tink for this very delayed acknowledgment of your wonderfully perceptive and encouraging comments. I have been away for 5 weeks with no access to computer or the internet and only now catching up on the forum.

 

I appreciate your reading this and leaving your thoughts.

[fdelano]

Most of my impressions have been expressed better than I could have. My one regret is one I'm sure other writers feel--I wish I had written this. The hare in the moon sighting is one I discovered in the shadows when I was very young. I still see Bugs Bunny sillouetted against a full moon. Thank you for the images and outre adventure.

fdh

[goldenlangur]

Helo fdh,

 

This is incredibly generous of you :D :

 

 

... My one regret is one I'm sure other writers feel--I wish I had written this.

fdh

 

I am much encouraged that my little piece touched you in such an unexpected way.

 

 

The hare in the moon sighting is one I discovered in the shadows when I was very young. I still see Bugs Bunny sillouetted against a full moon. .

 

How lovely that you too have such impressions of this legend. My first impressions are based on childhood recitation of the Buddhist Jataka Tales. I think it is wonderful that this image remains with you. :D

 

 

Thank you for the images and outre adventure

 

Appreciate your thumbs up.