The Coming Music

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

Soon my friends,

a great wind will blow in the east.

Then all will be quiet on earth.

 

The archangel Michael

will rebuke the Devil

from the body of Moses.

 

Then the clouds

will make a path in the east.

That mighty trumpet will sound.

 

There will be singing and dancing

throughout the whole world.

There will be praises and rejoycing, too.

 

The chosen believers

will then dissappear

off the face of the Earth.

Edited January 18, 2011 by Larsen M. Callirhoe

[Tinker]

Hi Victor, Your portrayal of the Rapture is really very well crafted. This Revelation version is very scary to me even though I count myself a believer and therefore according to this account, should feel victorious. But instead it seems so unChrist like. You certainly have tackled a contraversial subject.

 

I like the manner in which you wrote this in brief tercets. It is focused and gets the message across. Well done.

 

~~Tink

[badger11]

The chosen believers

will then disappear

off the face of the Earth.

 

Just to clarify vic: does this mean that there are believers who will not be chosen?

 

badge

[waxwings]

Soon my friends,

a great wind will blow in the east.

Then all will be quiet on earth.

 

The archangel Michael

will rebuke the devil

from the body of Moses.

 

Then the clouds

will make a path in the east.

That mighty trumpet will sound.

 

There will be singing and dancing

thru out the whole world.

There will be praises and rejoycing, too.

 

The chosen believers

will then dissappear

off the face of the Earth.

 

Though a practicing Christian, I am not up fully on the Book of Revelation , but this makes me think of a poetic rephrasing.

 

I like the way you have put it but, like that Book, the poem is quite cryptic and I am a bit at a loss as to why it does not grab me more.

 

I have some vague recollection of a Disappearance. Is that what happens to the chosen believers? As tinker, so I too must question if there are those believers that may not be chosen, and that seems to me is not per the expiation of all through the death of Jesus, on the cross.

 

Seems to me that only failure:

to live in the full admission of ones sinfulness and

to receive and return the love Jesus and his teachings

 

can put one beyond redemption. And who will do the rejoycing those who disappear or those who stay.

 

Small quibbles: should it not read: Devil, in L4 and throughout (L11) should not be one word.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

tinker, badge, and ikars firstoff thank you for reading my poem and commenting on it. to answer all your questions about some believers of christ not being raptured is example many of the trinity broadcasting ministers and some of their flocks will not be raptured. well i don't want to get to much religion when this is a poetry site but in the book of jeremiah, the gospels and the book of revelation state who will go up in the rapture and who won't.

 

selah shalom shiloh brit milah adoni el.

[Benjamin]

An interesting poem which seems to have an air of "I told you so" about it. Ah! those questions of faith...resolved upon death.

[dedalus]

the chosen believers

will then disappear

off the face of the Earth.

 

Hmm. There's an equal and opposite way of looking at this! If we could get rid of all these religious nuts so easily wouldn't the world be a kinder gentler place?

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

bren the trus believers arent the problem. im not condemning anyone to hell. i don't believe in hell. im a very spiritual believer. thou i get religious i don't believe in man made religions. i be;ieve that is where the problem lays.

 

 

victor

[Aleksandra]

This is interesting poem, Vic. It's really nice written. I like the way winds blows. I won't go dipper than it is. I liked this poem. Thank you for sharing.

 

Aleksandra

[dedalus]

I know, victor old friend, I was being facetious! True religious belief is one thing but puffed-up self-righteousness is something completely different, pharasaical ... derived from the Pharisees of the Bible.

[waxwings]

I love it when a poem has a significant central notion. An added benefit arises when a goodly number of those who read it do respond w/pertinent comments. There were a few thoughts I was ignorant of.

 

Is it unlikely that a divinely inspired writer, not being perfect and humanly sinful, adds his own flavor to the message. Methinks Jeremia likely added his own biases and that it is God (I accept others who may believe in something higher than human thought) who will decide who is there whose transgressions go beyond what His mercy can tolerate. True Evil is real whether it wears horns and a tail or not.

 

Since you have already done some editing of this sweet poem, I am going to abstain from anything further, for when you have your poem(s) published, the publisher's copy editor will do it for you.

Edited January 20, 2011 by waxwings

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

waxwings (ikars) please point out where more refinements (editing) can be done on my poem. im asking since the rules state otherwise for he forum. i knopw it might still need two or three tweakages of grammer or word useage. im still studying but my mind frame is very tired.

 

Selah (Hewbrew word that means blessings

 

victor

 

PS. Brendan i know you are wise enough. you are my favorite story teller. i love your poems. i can relate. anyway... the problem is that the true believers will be asscended lol. the nuts will be left behind lol and very unruly and uncontrollable the world will slice their necks and shoot them instead of beheaded them while where the true believers left on Earthj those trangressors that didnt get called in the ascension will be beheaded lol.

[tonyv]

A remarkably clear and meaningful composition, Victor. I agree with Tinker on the effectiveness of the tercets.

 

You've edited the poem, and I think it's near perfect. Great work!

 

Tony

 

 

PS -- I also enjoyed reading the pleasant discussion(s) taking place in the topic.