Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

tides of pain


moonqueen
 Share

Recommended Posts

tides of pain

 

her life ever steeped

in reality, disbelief streams

through her body,

riding the swell from her heart

to her outmost reaches.

 

scrape away her facade,

behold the detriment.

observe her essence,

ruptured. tormented

ships sail into her senses.

 

he submerges her brights

and leaves dark despondency

from which she cannot escape;

adrift in an anguish

she is incompetent to navigate.

 

 

02-20-11-rev.

©tlp 2010

Edited by moonqueen
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A bitter pill beautifully hidden beneath honeyed images- Nice work!

 

DC&J

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

Gate(less.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi moonqueen,

 

I immediately relate your name (moon) to the title (tides), is that the pull of the moon that causes tides? :) Well played.

 

Lake

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks, doc, always glad to have you stop by and chat.

 

Lake, you will find, my friend the moon is a frequent visitor in my work. Yes, it affects the oceans' tides. Can't explain why but I have an affinity for the moon. Thanks for taking precious time to read and comment.

 

t

Edited by moonqueen
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's never an easy task to find suitable visual imagery to illustrate the highs and lows of a relationship. You have worked this well and the lines undulate like waves. G.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
goldenlangur

Hello Tammi,

 

How vividly you bring to life the systematic undermining of a person's sense of self worth and identity:

 

he submerges her brights

and leaves dark despondency

from which she cannot escape;

adrift in an anguish

she is incompetent to navigate.

 

The sense one gets from your imagery is the depths of despair and hopelessness of the person, who is stripped of her own sense of who she is:

 

 

 

tides of pain

 

her life ever steeped

in reality, disbelief streams

through her body,

riding the swell from her heart

to her outmost reaches.

 

Powerful and thought-provoking.

 

 

Thank you.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.