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goldenlangur
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goldenlangur

driving away

from the ancestral home

the thought ...

tomorrow the early sun

will slant into my empty room

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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driving away

from the ancestral home

the thought ...

tomorrow the early sun

will slant into my empty room

 

Hi GL, I was intrigued by these images. At first confused by "the" ancestral home. I wondered whose home you were referring to.

 

But then I realized you were leaving behind a room that once belonged to you. Leaving a place where once you belonged, you can still cling to familiar images. There are some thing that stay the same even though we are no longer there.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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driving away

from the ancestral home

the thought ...

tomorrow the early sun

will slant into my empty room

 

Hi golden,

 

Once again, you've shown your mastery of this kind of poetic form. The form mingles well with the pathos expressed in the poem. I take "the ancestral home" as a place or a "memorial temple" to worship the family's ancestral. And again, the middle line "the thought" could be the thought of the ancestral or the thought of tomorrow or both. There's a sharp contrast hinged on the pivot line. Hope the early sunlight will fill your room.

 

Very much enjoyed.

 

Lake

Edited by Lake
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"tomorrow the early sun

will slant into my empty room"

 

as has always been the case? The world will turn, regardless of our place in it...or not.

 

I love when few words say much. And, these do. Much enjoyed.

 

 

 

Tammi

Edited by moonqueen
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goldenlangur

Hi Tink,

 

Your point about the 'ancestral home' being a confusing image is something I can appreciate. But i am delighted that the reference was not altogether lost. : :D

 

 

I was intrigued by these images. At first confused by "the" ancestral home. I wondered whose home you were referring to.

 

But then I realized you were leaving behind a room that once belonged to you.

 

~~Tink

 

 

Very eloquently expressed, Tink:

 

Leaving a place where once you belonged, you can still cling to familiar images. There are some thing that stay the same even though we are no longer there.

 

Each year the family meets at the old ancestral house for New Year celebrations, funerals, annual ancestral rituals and each time I leave I feel I've left something behind. You've caught something of this so well in your reading. :D

 

 

Thank you for taking the time with this.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Hi Lake,

 

You've put your finger on the emotions here:

 

Once again, you've shown your mastery of this kind of poetic form. The form mingles well with the pathos expressed in the poem.

 

Lake

 

 

Again, you're spot on about the 'memorial temple' to worship the family's ancestors'. We have a family prayer room/private temple dedicated to our ancestral gods whom we propitiate annually and commemorate the dead:

 

I take "the ancestral home" as a place or a "memorial temple" to worship the family's ancestral.

 

 

I am delighted that you think the pivot works in this tanka :D :

 

 

And again, the middle line "the thought" could be the thought of the ancestral or the thought of tomorrow or both. There's a sharp contrast hinged on the pivot line
.

 

 

This is the thought and image i carry with me until the next visit:

 

Hope the early sunlight will fill your room.

 

 

 

I appreciate the way you instinctively hone into the images and nuances in my writing. It assures me that the images and themes I write about are not too alien outside my own cultural context. I am much encouraged and very grateful.

 

 

Thank you. :D

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur

Hello Tammi,

 

How well you've read the imagery :D

 

as has always been the case? The world will turn, regardless of place in it, or not.

 

 

What you say here is indeed the key requirement and challenge of the tanka form:

 

I love when few words say much. And, these do.

 

 

Thank you : :D

 

Much enjoyed.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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Very nice to see/read you again, Goldenlangur. :D On the first read, I pictured the empty room to be in the speaker's abode elsewhere. But on the second read, I took it to mean the speaker's room in the ancestral home. I like that effect and how this poem makes me feel. It makes me think of my own room where I grew up, which somehow will always be home.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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driving away

from the ancestral home

the thought ...

tomorrow the early sun

will slant into my empty room

 

 

I read this as your last visit to the place,

though I think that is not what you intended.

It is probably the word "ancestral"

(as apart from your own)

that gives it that tone.

from the black desert

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goldenlangur

Hi Tony,

 

It's good to be back and post again:

Very nice to see/read you again, Goldenlangur. :D

Tony

 

I'm so glad that the reference to the ancestral home and the empty room brought triggered memories of your own old room:

On the first read, I pictured the empty room to be in the speaker's abode elsewhere. But on the second read, I took it to mean the speaker's room in the ancestral home. I like that effect and how this poem makes me feel. It makes me think of my own room where I grew up, which somehow will always be home.

 

You're absolutely right that the old room and home are, in a sense, one's root.

 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. :D

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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goldenlangur
I read this as your last visit to the place,

though I think that is not what you intended.

It is probably the word "ancestral"

(as apart from your own)

that gives it that tone.

 

You make a good point, Gatekeeper re the connotations of 'ancestral'. I appreciate this critical pointer and will ponder on a alternative to convey my intended meaning.

 

 

Thank you for reading and for the helpful pointer. :D

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, Goldenlangur, this poem makes an impression on me. I love to read poems connected with ancestors, I carry those emotions also, without even thinking and sometimes not even knowing much about it. It's just so natural and something that holds you tight to the roots.

 

This is a very positive poem. Good to read it.

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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goldenlangur
Well, Goldenlangur, this poem makes an impression on me. I love to read poems connected with ancestors, I carry those emotions also, without even thinking and sometimes not even knowing much about it. It's just so natural and something that holds you tight to the roots.

Aleksandra

Your reading and understanding of 'ancestors' and 'ancestral' is quite rewarding because you've grasped that sense of being rooted through such a link. I suppose it is a cultural construct and works in the context of your part of the world and mine. :D

 

 

This is a very positive poem. Good to read it.

Very grateful to have this encouraging comment.

 

 

Thank you so much.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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