moonqueen Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 (edited) day's end sunset, shimmering as golden coins of sinking treasure, sketches the limit between mountain and sky, queerly leaves her bereft of inspiration. perched now at the usual edge, her parity falters. her eyes flash glittering ice shards, she strains to avert her fall. he reaches for her, proceeds into her delusions, cradles her from inside, with hands from which she will not break loose. he is her emollient. eerie orange radiance adorns her world in that absolute last juncture preceding dusk, creates a nimbus behind the image of him in her mind. ©tlp 2011 Edited March 9, 2011 by moonqueen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Very nice, unusual juxtaposition of normally inspirational items (sunset, golden coins, a beautiful vista) with feelings of downheartedness and dependency. "Sinking treasure" and your use of "emollient" in the third verse are especially effective. Thanks for this, Tammi. I enjoyed it a lot. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonqueen Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 (edited) Thanks, Tony, for the read and your words. Even though much of my work tilts to the darker side of my psyche, I still view my inspriations as the same as those who find only (or mostly) positive nudges. I write both directons from the same inspirations, all depends on my mood at the moment. The moon is often in my work and it swings in extreme, sometimes, both ways, optimistic to pessimistic. ;) Edited March 10, 2011 by moonqueen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 day's endsunset, shimmering as golden coins of sinking treasure, sketches the limit between mountain and sky, queerly leaves her bereft of inspiration. perched now at the usual edge, her parity falters. her eyes flash glittering ice shards, she strains to avert her fall. he reaches for her, proceeds into her delusions, cradles her from inside, with hands from which she will not break loose. he is her emollient. eerie orange radiance adorns her world in that absolute last juncture preceding dusk, creates a nimbus behind the image of him in her mind. ©tlp 2011 Where you find all them words, Girl? Kidding, of course. Day's End, for me, creates wonderful images melded with physical and emotional insights into a relationship. And yes, it might be the best you have written. My opinions change daily. Thank you, Tamra. fdh P.S. Your avatar is perfect for you. :icon_sunny: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonqueen Posted March 9, 2011 Author Share Posted March 9, 2011 Bingo! Franklin, you got the 'about' on the nose. A relationship, it is. Ehhhh, I don't know about my best. Thanks for the read and the comments. t Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatekeeper Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Curious/puzzling application of several words. I get the message anyway. An interesting read, complex. Quote from the black desert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Very interesting poem, moonqueen. With this poem, you expressed a very depressive mood - which I enjoyed because it is familiar to me :). I like the imagery, too. Good job. Thank you for sharing it. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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