Benjamin Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 I walk where hump-backed turtles come to shore and feel an ageless tide of life and warm sharp sand around my feet-- see ancient barques mustered in earthly might with all their kings-- then stop-- until each lapping wave sucks at the sand beneath my static feet-- to think-- should I not move I'd sink-- and blend with them for evermore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Benjamin, this compact, lyrical work transports me. I feel like I'm in someone else's special place. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 Great use of language and images, Benjamin. You create effectively the poet's reflective and melancholy presence. The idea of becoming one with the sea, tinged with a bitter sweet nihilistic note is drawn out well: should I not moveI'd sink-- and blend with them for evermore Not just a physical melding but also a temporal one: an ageless tide of life The individual merging with the universal. Beautiful! Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted March 11, 2011 Author Share Posted March 11, 2011 Hello Tony and goldenlangur. Thanks for reading and leaving comment. The Greek Islands provoked this particular thought, alhough I couldn't bring myself to mention the “wine dark sea”. The Eastern Mediterranean is unique. It's history, cultures, mythology and now modern archaeology seem to draw one in; form ever changing images of how so many things are connected. Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I walk where hump-backed turtlescome to shore and feel an ageless tide of life and warm sharp sand around my feet-- see ancient barques mustered in earthly might with all their kings-- then stop-- until each lapping wave sucks at the sand beneath my static feet-- to think-- should I not move I'd sink-- and blend with them for evermore Everything here talks of antiquity and the oneness of our world through the ages. Or something like that. The turtles, barges and kings float by as you realize your place in history. You even got in a perfect rhyme for the occasion. And what could reflect aging better than the Greek Islands and the sea? Could we have more, please? Franklin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted March 15, 2011 Share Posted March 15, 2011 Very mesmerizing, soothing and meditative as well. Interesting use of dashes, though I'm not sure if they make clear sense to me. Seems to me each dash is used to start a new thought? Enjoyed Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted March 15, 2011 Author Share Posted March 15, 2011 Franklin. Thankyou for reading and for the kind comments. Civilizations struggle to rise, then they fall and probably will do so for as long as mankind exists. We look for beginnings middles and ends in everything; in truth perhaps, we never will evolve sufficiently to understand our reasons for being here, so continue only to go with the flow. Lake .Thankyou for your comments. Writing unpunctuated work always poses problems at some point. The dashes here represent pauses, hopefully to create a clarity between thoughts and to use your word, give a meditative feel to the piece. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDgb Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 This work flows so nicely, charting a curving, loping path through the reader's experience. It is a simple design, of few words, and the poem is stronger for it. I also echo Franklin's comment. This work feels old and sure, a reminisance of the best kind. Well done. Quote GBrenton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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