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Aesa to the Liar


abstrect-christ
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abstrect-christ

darkangelSigniturecrop.jpg

 

A soldier clad in green and mud

waiting among the town of ghosts,

a single wall his cover

and climax --

 

"the shell-shock you suffer

is but a snowflake of truth

landing in the hippocampus,

will you fight everlong for me?"

 

"Yes!", falling to his knees laden

with torrents of overcasts drops.

 

"When I fall shall you stumble a

dawn of jagged rock and glass to

displace my ragged body placing

my back upon trills of Daffodils,

Roses, and Daphne?"

 

"Goddess of the Mesosphere,

I promise you I'll fight everlong,

fore as this crescendo rises as do

my solicits to you.

 

You answer with such grace

shielding me from all,

once I am free from this conflict

that was to be your grave

I shall lay you among

any trill desired,

making it your eternal bed."

 

Just as his clip empties,

so does his voice --

one barrage of martyred

soul and shell collapses

his battered wall revealing

the face of his crescendo:

 

Like the white swan turned black

his Goddess stood there batons in hand;

shocked and frozen, flustered and bereaved,

she cannot say anything --

she can only stare, disbelieving.

 

"Goddess... how could you steak yourself

among the enemy so?

Was I not your soul, your everlong infernia?"

 

"Soldier of my passion,

soldier of my will,

you fought so hard but I could not,

for as your ears bleed

from shot and shrapnel

as does my heart -- for what I create."

 

"Goddess, you show me such mercy

like your father and mother,

yet you wish to destroy like your wraith sister,"

 

"worry not fair soldier, fore

this will be quick; a needles eye

in the clouds of sand."

 

With the amorous tinge upon her eyes,

the soldiers lips rise, edges an arc his single tear

lining its cusp -- the goddess lifts both batons

toward an abstract figure raising its muzzle

and his final thoughts are spread

among the walls debris

as batons land in the infinite mud at both their feet.

 

Walking with melancholy fervor

she's looking at the sprouting flowers among his debris

tears dispelling as they germinate and blot

laughing now as her back, bare, weighs down on their petals

spinning in the Daffodils, Roses and Daphne's

trilled by her soldiers final thought:

 

"Thank you, Goddess."

by Jeremy Swyck

(1/29/11

Pinhead

"Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends.

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh."

Joey

"I don't believe you."

Pinhead

"Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume.

To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart."

"There's a starving beast inside my chest
playing with me until he's bored
Then, slowly burying his tusks in my flesh
crawling his way out he rips open old wounds

When I reach for the knife placed on the bedside table
its blade reflects my determined face
to plant it in my chest
and carve a hole so deep it snaps my veins

Hollow me out, I want to feel empty"
-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreaker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8

"Sky turns to a deeper grey

the sun fades by the moon

hell's come from the distant hills

tortures dreams of the doomed

and they pray, yet they prey

and they pray, still they prey"
-- "Still They Prey" by Cough

https://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray

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goldenlangur

Hello abstrect-christ,

 

Good to meet you. :D

 

Your work with its allusions to myths (Daphne, immediately evoking Apollo), goddess, battle and soldier-searcher evokes a sense of the archetypal heroic aspirations of the individual. The personification of war and violence as female is quite effective in bringing out the emotional charge this holds for the hero-soldier.

 

However, like the classical tales of such heroic pursuits there is a lingering sense of the loss of humanity and innocence in this tale of the soldier too.

 

Wonderful language and imagery make this quite a riveting read.

 

 

Thank you.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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abstrect-christ

thanks Langur ^-^

Pinhead

"Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends.

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh."

Joey

"I don't believe you."

Pinhead

"Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume.

To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart."

"There's a starving beast inside my chest
playing with me until he's bored
Then, slowly burying his tusks in my flesh
crawling his way out he rips open old wounds

When I reach for the knife placed on the bedside table
its blade reflects my determined face
to plant it in my chest
and carve a hole so deep it snaps my veins

Hollow me out, I want to feel empty"
-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreaker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8

"Sky turns to a deeper grey

the sun fades by the moon

hell's come from the distant hills

tortures dreams of the doomed

and they pray, yet they prey

and they pray, still they prey"
-- "Still They Prey" by Cough

https://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray

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Enjoyed the narrative and your proficient use of dialogue, Jeremy. I'm also becoming accustomed to the neologisms; they definitely complement your interesting subjects and writing style. The ending --

 

...his final thoughts are spread

among the walls debris ...

 

-- leaves this reader a bit unsettled.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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abstrect-christ

Thanks Tony ^-^

 

lol sorry, I chose not to put the R beside this one because by my standards this isn't as bad as my usual degree of detail since I mainly create allusions to the actions such as the final thought line. I've got a Canto series not posted that shows how lightly an image like that is treated in this piece.

Edited by abstrect-christ

Pinhead

"Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends.

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh."

Joey

"I don't believe you."

Pinhead

"Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume.

To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart."

"There's a starving beast inside my chest
playing with me until he's bored
Then, slowly burying his tusks in my flesh
crawling his way out he rips open old wounds

When I reach for the knife placed on the bedside table
its blade reflects my determined face
to plant it in my chest
and carve a hole so deep it snaps my veins

Hollow me out, I want to feel empty"
-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreaker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8

"Sky turns to a deeper grey

the sun fades by the moon

hell's come from the distant hills

tortures dreams of the doomed

and they pray, yet they prey

and they pray, still they prey"
-- "Still They Prey" by Cough

https://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray

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Thanks Tony ^-^

 

lol sorry, I chose not to put the R beside this one because by my standards this isn't as bad as my usual degree of detail since I mainly create allusions to the actions such as the final thought line. I've got a Canto series not posted that shows how lightly an image like that is treated in this piece.

 

Oh, no ... Everything's fine. This one doesn't need an [R]. I just meant that I got squeamish ... and that's a good thing! :icon_eek:

 

Tony :)

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Hi Jeremy, Welcome to PMO. It is exciting to see new faces here.

 

WOW, your work delivers in a powerful manner. Clearly you are not going to be a quick read. Your poems demand focus and investment from the reader. I am impressed and challenged and maybe a little overwhelmed by your writing. I look forward to studying your work.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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abstrect-christ

thanks tink.

Pinhead

"Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends.

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh."

Joey

"I don't believe you."

Pinhead

"Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume.

To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart."

"There's a starving beast inside my chest
playing with me until he's bored
Then, slowly burying his tusks in my flesh
crawling his way out he rips open old wounds

When I reach for the knife placed on the bedside table
its blade reflects my determined face
to plant it in my chest
and carve a hole so deep it snaps my veins

Hollow me out, I want to feel empty"
-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreaker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8

"Sky turns to a deeper grey

the sun fades by the moon

hell's come from the distant hills

tortures dreams of the doomed

and they pray, yet they prey

and they pray, still they prey"
-- "Still They Prey" by Cough

https://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray

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  • 2 weeks later...

WOW... I stayed without words. I need time to collect all my impressions of this perfection.

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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abstrect-christ

^-^

Pinhead

"Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends.

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh."

Joey

"I don't believe you."

Pinhead

"Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume.

To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart."

"There's a starving beast inside my chest
playing with me until he's bored
Then, slowly burying his tusks in my flesh
crawling his way out he rips open old wounds

When I reach for the knife placed on the bedside table
its blade reflects my determined face
to plant it in my chest
and carve a hole so deep it snaps my veins

Hollow me out, I want to feel empty"
-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreaker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8

"Sky turns to a deeper grey

the sun fades by the moon

hell's come from the distant hills

tortures dreams of the doomed

and they pray, yet they prey

and they pray, still they prey"
-- "Still They Prey" by Cough

https://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray

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