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Poetry Magnum Opus

Another Time


fdelano
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Just standing, taking it all in,

large and small pieces and shards

scattered for at least a quarter mile,

the camouflaged tail section with its four fifty

caliber guns just pointing, not aiming.

 

Trees down and other jungle growth

cleared by the crash landing, no sign

of life or even body parts apparent, the

scene so quiet. I listen for anything,

anybody.

 

A few minutes pass as I stand

still, tense, knowing something is about

to happen, but my mind is simply open.

 

A murmur creeps through the metal,

attenuated by green tangled growth.

 

A weak moan, then a definite "Please."

 

Is that you, gunner? Are you in there?

 

Bolt upright in bed, covers flung aside.

I stifle a scream with realization of where

I sit, staring into the darkness,

sweat-soaked and shaking slightly from

transition of mental confusion.

 

A soft mew from the old feral cat below my

window, a frequent visitor seeking God knows

what, in his own world and I in mine. I manage

a weak grin, but tonight has ended for me.

Edited by fdelano
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Your vivid description of the devastation and of the night-time “heebies” is a powerful reminder that service personnel are not like machines, to be switched on-and-off, as-and-when required. The theme of your poem is relevent to the present day and well expressed in plain language. It brings home the fact that military casualties of war are not restricted just to theatres of war, nor to the duration of a war. Many ex-servicemen are haunted for life by horrors they witnessed and duties they were expected to perform. I thought you used the cat very well to break surface, and there was something of a sting in that last line, "I manage a weak grin, but tonight has ended for me.” G.

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Thank you, Geoff. I wrote this close to my memory of the dream and the cat that caused it only a few nights ago. That cat is really ugly too, so I thought it fitting to the subject.

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I love this as you knew I would. Your work with this subject becomes more real to this reader as you write more of them. Franklin, have you considered a series of these, for those who can relate, so they know others do, too? As you well know, it certainly isn't unique to VN, and its relevancy endures.

 

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed this realistically expressed piece.

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I love this as you knew I would. Your work with this subject becomes more real to this reader as you write more of them. Franklin, have you considered a series of these, for those who can relate, so they know others do, too? As you well know, it certainly isn't unique to VN, and its relevancy endures.

 

Well, I thoroughly enjoyed this realistically expressed piece.

 

I'm going to send that damn cat to you. Thank you, dear moon. Your comments always mean a lot to me.

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abstrect-christ

nicely done. everything's been said.:icon_sunny:

Pinhead

"Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends.

There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh."

Joey

"I don't believe you."

Pinhead

"Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume.

To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart."

"There's a starving beast inside my chest
playing with me until he's bored
Then, slowly burying his tusks in my flesh
crawling his way out he rips open old wounds

When I reach for the knife placed on the bedside table
its blade reflects my determined face
to plant it in my chest
and carve a hole so deep it snaps my veins

Hollow me out, I want to feel empty"
-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreaker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8

"Sky turns to a deeper grey

the sun fades by the moon

hell's come from the distant hills

tortures dreams of the doomed

and they pray, yet they prey

and they pray, still they prey"
-- "Still They Prey" by Cough

https://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray

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I agree with the others, Franklin. You portray it well: anxiety followed by relief. I like it, especially here:

 

... I manage

a weak grin, but tonight has ended for me.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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I agree with the others, Franklin. You portray it well: anxiety followed by relief. I like it, especially here:

 

... I manage

a weak grin, but tonight has ended for me.

 

Tony

 

Thanks y'all for finding time for this one. I'm often remiss in critiques and replies, but not on purpose.

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rosschandler

i really like this poem. the structure is unique. it seems like prose but you format it in a very poetic way. very good!

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