PDgb Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Noonday sun burns the back of the land Dusty columns whirl round A weathered coat flaps in the wind As a silver dollar rolls slowly Into the unclean hand Of The Badman Twice boom the silver messengers Shattering wood, life force As the tumbleweed rolls, flowers of red Drip slowly, painting the cracked boards With the color of justice A look of disgust, a swift turn On shining boots and The Walker strides off into the sun Victory accomplished, his day One Quote GBrenton
tonyv Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Whoa, PDgb! Terrific job showing, especially the parts about the silver dollars, the "silver messengers," and the "flowers of red" that "drip slowly." It goes to show how a skilled, imaginative writer can harness any setting, in this case the wild west (something I wouldn't have thought of), and tame it into a poem. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
moonqueen Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) Grant, I've read a fair number of your pieces and this is by far my absolute favorite. So many western settings trailed through my mind with this one. I grew up watching Gunsmoke from the time I was five, I see the main street in Dodge City, Stephen King's Trilogy about the dark tower also slammed in. This is really an amazingly good piece, for me. The imagery is superb. Tammi Edited March 26, 2011 by moonqueen Quote
abstrect-christ Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 I'm with MQ on this, very nice. :icon_sunny: Quote Pinhead "Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends. There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh." Joey "I don't believe you." Pinhead "Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume. To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart." "There's a starving beast inside my chestplaying with me until he's boredThen, slowly burying his tusks in my fleshcrawling his way out he rips open old woundsWhen I reach for the knife placed on the bedside tableits blade reflects my determined faceto plant it in my chestand carve a hole so deep it snaps my veinsHollow me out, I want to feel empty"-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreakerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8 "Sky turns to a deeper grey the sun fades by the moon hell's come from the distant hills tortures dreams of the doomed and they pray, yet they prey and they pray, still they prey"-- "Still They Prey" by Coughhttps://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray
Benjamin Posted March 26, 2011 Posted March 26, 2011 (edited) Interesting and imaginitive subject matter. I liked " flowers of red " and "the colour of justice". The format is concise and works well with your choice of language. Benjamin Edited March 26, 2011 by Benjamin Quote
Frank E Gibbard Posted March 31, 2011 Posted March 31, 2011 (edited) Always happy to encounter a new writer. Good introduction to read and enjoyed your Western poem. Edited May 12, 2011 by Frank E Gibbard Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.