PDgb Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Madame Princess, your poet is here! With a clang and a gong A dead silent song Is whispered Through corridors short and stubby In the tradition of spontaneity We attempt to cover our nudity With opaque glass walls and jaws As two quarters cry Ay! We buck splattered bales of hay Listening as the absurdity tells of How we live under trampoline spells That mock us from square domes of rock And with this final wrong I can see I have entertained for too long The notion of “oops I forgot” With one final adieu I present this poem to you One small fat serious joke Because on the day you spoke You dared me So I wrote Quote GBrenton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Funny. Was the lack of punctuation intentional? There was only one exclamation point in there. I was trying to figure out whether there is a reason for the shape or it was by accident because of the center format. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 It seems she has inspired you! Perhaps she has become your muse? I enjoyed this poem's pleasing musicality, delivered by the variations in line length and the nice mix of internal rhyme, end rhyme, and other devices. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted March 25, 2011 Share Posted March 25, 2011 Hello PDgb, Nice to meet you. :D Witty and a brilliant flow of images and sonority. I do like how you've set the poem up and how it appears on the screen. Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abstrect-christ Posted March 26, 2011 Share Posted March 26, 2011 everything's been said, nicely done. Quote Pinhead "Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends. There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh." Joey "I don't believe you." Pinhead "Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume. To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart." "There's a starving beast inside my chestplaying with me until he's boredThen, slowly burying his tusks in my fleshcrawling his way out he rips open old woundsWhen I reach for the knife placed on the bedside tableits blade reflects my determined faceto plant it in my chestand carve a hole so deep it snaps my veinsHollow me out, I want to feel empty"-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreakerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8 "Sky turns to a deeper grey the sun fades by the moon hell's come from the distant hills tortures dreams of the doomed and they pray, yet they prey and they pray, still they prey"-- "Still They Prey" by Coughhttps://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Hi, PDgb. After I read the first line, my mind went directly to Tagore's poetry :). I like how this poem is placed. I like the visual effect. It works fine. Nice to read your poetry. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Hey PDgb, BRAVO! I felt like getting up and clapping when I finished reading this. Such fun written with style. Loved it. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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