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honeymooon [R]


dedalus
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Kahd shay a wilthya … Uhn? Taw may … tis yourself, Shawn,

I wouldn't have known you, coming up behind me, like …

Never mind now, Mihawl, I’m so sorry for your trouble,

isn’t it your second wife you’ve been after burying?

Fell off the balcony in Spain? She did and all, Jayzus,

never a girl with a head for heights, so down she went.

And that was the honeymoon? Twas, yeh, cut a bit short,

till I got back to Dublin and saw to the account. And …

and wha’? The parents? Of course, well, they weren’t too happy,

but twas an accident, yeh? Right, Mick, just like the one before?

The fuck yeh talking, Seány, wasn’t she after diving off,

post-coital depression or some such bleedin nonsense?

Were you after fuckin her, so? Ahh, no, I wasn’t, a bit

too much of the cognac, I think it was the waiter had a go.

With your wife??? On your honeymoon??? Fuck if I know.

Anyway, she landed next to the swimming pool, splat!!

nearly brained two fuckin Germans, you know the way

they set towels out so early in the morning, bleedin Krauts.

Cad atá ar siúl (what's going on?) Nuair a théann ham, le rudaí

a théann ar don chuid is fearr. You left her there? No, no,

course not. I forsook breakfast and identified her for the police.

And then what? Well, I had breakfast, didn’t I, eggs on toast.

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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Kahd shay a wilthya … Uhn? Taw may … tis yourself, Shawn,

I wouldn't have known you, coming up behind me, like …

Never mind now, Mihawl, I'm so sorry for your trouble,

isn't it your second wife you've been after burying?

Fell off the balcony in Spain? She did and all, Jayzus,

never a girl with a head for heights, so down she went.

And that was the honeymoon? Twas, yeh, cut a bit short,

till I got back to Dublin and saw to the account. And …

and wha'? The parents? Of course, well, they weren't too happy,

but twas an accident, yeh? Right, Mick, just like the one before?

The fuck yeh talking, Seány, wasn't she after diving off,

post-coital depression or some such bleedin nonsense?

Were you after fuckin her, so? Ahh, no, I wasn't, a bit

too much of the cognac, I think it was the waiter had a go.

With your wife??? On your honeymoon??? Fuck if I know.

Anyway, she landed next to the swimming pool, splat!!

nearly brained two fuckin Germans, you know the way

they set towels out so early in the morning, bleedin Krauts.

Cad atá ar siúl (what's going on?) Nuair a théann ham, le rudaí

a théann ar don chuid is fearr. You left her there? No, no,

course not. I forsook breakfast and identified her for the police.

And then what? Well, I had breakfast, didn't I, eggs on toast.

 

Absolutely hilarious and accurate to my memories of Irish pub talk (in the movies, mind you). The stirring in of Gaelic? is just the right mixture for the reader. I shall read this many times and laugh just as hard, over a pint of ale, of course. Thank you for the 'top of the morning.'

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The honeymoon is over. Oh, well. I guess she deserved what you did to her. Wait a minute ... Deserved what? It was just an accident, a fall off the balcony, not full-on defenestration! Fortunately there's a bit of plausible deniability working in his favor, Bren.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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This is excellent fare Brendan and brings a breath of fresh air to the forum. It stirs for me also fond memories of irreverent Irish humour. I worked four years in a six piece Irish band through the 1980s playing a profusion of Irish music, mainly at Irish centres and clubs. We were seldom short of work, for the Irish, it has been said, "are a joyful people."” I marvelled at the emotive cameraderie I witnessed and also at the warmth and down to earth humour of the people I met. I've never forgotten how at the end of each gig: no matter how boisterous things had been; as soon as “The Soldiers Song” struck up, every last person would stand stock still, hold their hands over their hearts, and sing with a passion that had to be seen to be believed. I have never seen fervour like this elsewhere. Such is the difference in people. Benjamin

Edited by Benjamin
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Sinne Fianna Fáil

Atá Fá gheall ag Éirinn

Buidhean dár sluagh ...

tar rúinn do ráinig chughainn!!

I know, Ben. Brings a shiver to the old bones even now!!

Edited by dedalus

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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