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Loiter


JoelJosol
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Your skin is still tight

as the lamp's shade,

 

the fullness of your breasts

firm as bed pillows,

 

and your hair smooth

as the bed's varnish finish.

 

While your thighs

flex against mine,

 

let age

loiter

 

behind

our locked door.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Steamy! I like how you call attention to both of your youthfulness. This is apparent in the last lines:

... let age

loiter

 

behind

our
locked door.
[emphasis mine]

Another fine poem, Joel!

 

Tony icon_smile.gif

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Thanks, Tony. Steamy but hopefully not too graphic.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Aleksandra

Joel, this poem... Ahh I love it icon_smile.gif. It's very emotional and passionate. And also sounds so poetical.

 

Your skin is still tight

as the lamp's shade,

 

and here is the passion what hits the poem:

 

While your thighs

flex against mine,

 

let age

loiter

 

behind

our locked door.

 

There is so much feelings and shows the truth, that the love - don't have age...

 

Wonderful poem

 

Aleksandra

The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau

History of Macedonia

 

 

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goldenlangur

Hi JoelJosol,

 

 

Yes, both Tony and Aleksandra are right - this poem has an erotic charge about it. The only association which reads a little awkward to me is the very first one : the "skin" "tight" as a "lamp's shade" - unusual but not quite aesthetically pleasing from the woman's point of view, me thinks. But, this is just my reading.

 

 

I like the use of sparse lines here.

 

goldenlangur

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

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GL, age causes skin to get loose. So, the comparison is to something tight.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Hi Joel, I don't know if the metaphors in this poem work for me. They are different, nothing cliche here. But for me not relevant, they don't carry the same allure as the subject, they don't entice me.

 

The poem is well written with your usual fluid rhythm and I am sure many will love it. You are a talented writer.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

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It is an attempt to associate the surroundings with the subject, Tink. There could be more beautiful and enticing metaphors but unfortunately not from the room.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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does not imply to me that both are young just her.

I agree with the lampshade reference. Just think Ed Gein.

I do like this poem

-Jalfrezi

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