rosschandler Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 sitting by this river wanting endless bliss and not this haunting viciousness which is unfolding while i wish that i was holding to my wrists a razor ripping through my flesh as i keep gripping to these blades and look above slitting in the name of love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Impeccable rhyme and meter, Ross. I read what you wrote in another topic about enjambment, but I will posit that I think you've used it effectively (perfectly!) in this work, in L2-L3. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosschandler Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 Impeccable rhyme and meter, Ross. I read what you wrote in another topic about enjambment, but I will posit that I think you've used it effectively (perfectly!) in this work, in L2-L3. Tony that is true i didnt even think about it. i actually bag on emjambments in alot of free verse unrhymed poetry because it just seems like the wirter is cutting a sentence off to fit in a line. alot of free verse to me is honestly nothing more than prose truncated into stanzas to seem like a poem when in fact the poem reads like a simple paragraph in a story. however in keeping with rhyme and line structure i guess i use emjambments more than i thought. in fact this entire stanza is one grammatically correct long sentence. no need for pause in fact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 in fact this entire stanza is one grammatically correct long sentence. Exactly. I was going to state this in my earlier reply, but figured it was too obvious. Robert Frost's "The Silken Tent" (in post #5) is the same way. So, Ross, you're in good company! Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Hello, rosschandler. I enjoyed reading this poem. The first line is nicely and very successfully linked to the last one. Wonderful. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedalus Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) These comments got so interesting they bordered on the surreal and lost all connection with the poem. Unfortunately, you can't do this kind of thing whether drunk or sober, generally sober, because it raises psychological questions which have really nothing to do with the topic. I withdraw with a sweep of my cloak and my hat raised to all! Edited April 7, 2011 by dedalus Quote Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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