Lake Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 Tomb-Sweeping Day So much I've missed the incense the joss paper for burning the incessant rain sad like tears the deep pools of your eyes - impossible to see through the oblation - the rice wine sprinkled before the grave the thick smell of the swirling smoke the praying words - spring after spring my polluted heart is cleansed, then rejuvenated again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 A little spring cleaning, Lake? ... spring after spring my polluted heart is cleansed, then rejuvenated again. A lovely tradition, expressed in a lovely poem. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Proof that less is more, that craft is more eloquent than any outpouring (not matter how 'honest'). enjoyed badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatekeeper Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 I like spare poetry, like this. Quote from the black desert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Agree with Badge re: eloquence. Sometimes what is not said, out-weighs what is said. Good Job. Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted April 6, 2011 Share Posted April 6, 2011 Lake Excellent truly! And having done joss paper burning- These lines resonate with my experience my polluted heart iscleansed, then rejuvenated again. Just like being there... Many Thanks! DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedalus Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 You go to the graves with your wife's family (your girlfriend, your Asian other ... once her parents have accepted you!) and this is what happens. It's an annual show of respect to dead grandparents and ancestors, a cleansing of the graves punctiliously carried out with prayers but little sign of sentimentality, often followed by tea and an evening gathering of the family. This poem is excellent. This is bang-on. This is exactly what happens! Quote Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 ... spring after spring my polluted heart is cleansed, then rejuvenated again. A lovely tradition, expressed in a lovely poem. Yes, Tony, it is a tradtition and it has become a national holiday. Thanks, Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Proof that less is more, that craft is more eloquent than any outpouring (not matter how 'honest'). enjoyed badge Hi badge, Avoid any outpouring (no matter how honest), very well said! Thanks. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 Thank you Gatekeeper, Ben for your read and comments. Appreciated. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 And having done joss paper burning- These lines resonate with my experience my polluted heart iscleansed, then rejuvenated again. Just like being there... Hi Dr_con, Glad these lines can resonate with your experience. This practice means quite different to me now than in my childhood. Many thanks. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lake Posted April 10, 2011 Author Share Posted April 10, 2011 It's an annual show of respect to dead grandparents and ancestors, a cleansing of the graves punctiliously carried out with prayers but little sign of sentimentality, often followed by tea and an evening gathering of the family. This poem is excellent. This is bang-on. This is exactly what happens! Hi Bren, See, how you understand it, so very well. Thanks for the encouraging words. Lake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Hi Lake, Each image in your poem imitates the swirl of the burning incense - floating, fleeting thoughts and emotions, delicately evoked before they dissolve leaving the reader with a sense of the intense immersion of the poet in the moment and then the final cleansing. There is poignancy and a haunting beauty in your poem. So good to read your work again. :D Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 Hi Lake I just loved this poem. I felt privileged to accompany you to this spring tradition. Your images, your phrasing, and your chosen structure of the lines all work beautifully to communicate the efficient, solemn beauty of the event. This is lovely. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 Lake, your poem is nothing else, but beautiful. Even the paradox at some part at the beginning, it sounds and feels comfortable, thanks to your writing skill -- you are missing "the incessant rain sad like tears". In each of your lines is seen your sense of existence and your talent. Great poetry. Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed reading this poem, a lot. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted April 26, 2011 Share Posted April 26, 2011 What radiates from this is the uplifting spirit of all you convey, in its beautifully described picture painted Lake. Deserves to be atop this list I feel, much appreciated as are the surrounding comments more familiar with the tenets of the ceremonial than I, Frank. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Lake, I very much like this form. I often write in the same way. I cannot relate with the ritual of cleaning up tombs because the family opted for cremation, perhaps dusting the urn from time to time is the closest. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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