rosschandler Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 tattered torture's wasted lips tasted like a heartbreak kiss when i parted ways with Bliss then i had heart my december ember burned as i remember i was spurned the sad pretender never learns living in the Dark chemically as you can see i do appear to be like thee flesh and bones and prone to bleed unintended art useless like a broken glass shattered in a hopless past battered blue and beaten black red and ripped apart a firefly denied to die forced to scorch the midnight sky remorseful like a lover's lie i cry with every spark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 tattered torture's wasted lips tasted like a heartbreak kiss when i parted ways with Bliss then i had heart my december ember burned as i remember i was spurned the sad pretender never learns living in the Dark chemically as you can see i do appear to be like thee flesh and bones and prone to bleed unintended art useless like a broken glass shattered in a hopless past battered blue and beaten black red and ripped apart a firefly denied to die forced to scorch the midnight sky remorseful like a lover's lie i cry with every spark Much here to contemplate, Ross. No, not complicated nor arcane; plain words, deep words. One line will stay with me: "a firefly denied to die." Lovely, sad words. fdh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 I, too, very much liked the line Franklin pointed out, Ross. The title works well with it. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 tattered torture's wasted lips tasted like a heartbreak kiss when i parted ways with Bliss then i had heart my december ember burned as i remember i was spurned the sad pretender never learns living in the Dark chemically as you can see i do appear to be like thee flesh and bones and prone to bleed unintended art useless like a broken glass shattered in a hopless past battered blue and beaten black red and ripped apart a firefly denied to die forced to scorch the midnight sky remorseful like a lover's lie i cry with every spark Hello Ross I enjoyed reading your poem, it's so melodious, I love the way you have played around with verbs, a stunning piece of work, the first verse is my favourite. Best wishes Rea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatekeeper Posted April 13, 2011 Share Posted April 13, 2011 Like water rippling down a stairway . . . Enjoyed the melodious read. Quote from the black desert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosschandler Posted April 13, 2011 Author Share Posted April 13, 2011 Like water rippling down a stairway . . .Enjoyed the melodious read. that is exactly how i have described the rhythm to many of my poems....thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted April 16, 2011 Share Posted April 16, 2011 I liked the imagery of this poem. The midnight sky flows wonderful with the crying with every spark. I loved the title. Aleksnadra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 Hi Ross, This plaintive piece certainly sings.... I was particularly taken with the structure, the quatrains with L1-L3 of equal length and L4 shorter with rhyme aaab cccb ~ b being a linking rhyme with the subsequent stanzas. Well thought out and enjoyable to read. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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