Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

Another Time (Revised)


fdelano

Recommended Posts

Another Time (Revised)

 

Just standing, watching,

large and small pieces and shards

scattered for at least a quarter mile.

The camouflaged tail section, still whole,

its four, fifty caliber guns pointing, not aiming.

 

Trees down like bowling pins--

cleared by the crash landing.

No sign of life or even body parts apparent.

I listen for anything,

anybody.

 

A few minutes pass as I stand still, tense,

sensing something about to happen,

but my mind is simply open.

 

A murmur creeps through the metal,

the sound weak, attenuated by tangled growth.

 

A short moan, then a definite "Please."

 

Is that you, gunner? Are you in there?

 

Bolt upright in bed, covers flung aside.

I stifle a scream with realization

of where I sit, staring into darkness,

sweat-soaked and shaking slightly

from transition of mental confusion.

 

A soft mew from an old feral cat

below my window, a frequent visitor,

seeking God knows what, in his own world

and I in mine. I manage a weak grin.

Tonight has ended for me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good rewrite, Franklin. You kept the emotion I felt the most in the first version: relief. You also retained that concomitant, settled sense of looking back on life.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.