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On Daffodils


Frank E Gibbard
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Frank E Gibbard

The welcome daffodils

 

Have played the host

 

In their flower fest at

 

This garden habitat

 

And have graced it

 

On Nature's behest

 

As temporary guest

 

To a rich rare feast

 

For Wintered eyes

 

As perceptions rise

 

Our view's replete

 

A Springtime treat

 

Wordsworth's gold

 

So brief you behold

 

As now they droop

 

A drab beige troupe

 

That come then go

 

Ephemeral as snow

 

Edited by Frank E Gibbard
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"As now they droop

A drab beige troupe

That come then go

Ephemeral as snow"

 

Nicely done Frank. Their welcome always seems to outlast their brief life. :icon_sunny:

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rosschandler

very good job. i like the rhythm and your very simple and to the point delivery. i am a fan of less is more. i like lines of 7 or 8 syllables or less. i like each line to follow the previous in symmetrical fashion. it gives the poem a crafted feel and deliberate sense. it is also rather metaphorical and complex. much under the surface. i say these things not to harp on the other poets i read , but mostly these other poets seem less poetic and moreso like they are just writing journal entries. many poets have no grasp on structure, rhythm, meter, form, rather they just rely on the crutch of post modernistic free verse. these poets i bet have thousands of poems written. as many poems as they have thoughts. i bet they can create a poem every ten seconds by just writing down their emotions and coming up with several lines. i doubt many of those poets could write thousands of crafted and formulated poems such as yours. i just really appreciate craft. and you exemplify it.

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Frank, writing short lines like this in 2-3 accented syllables create a perception of speed and running down a circular staircase :-) like daffodils falling on the ground.

"Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach

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Frank E Gibbard

Thanks muchly Geoff, Ross and Joel for those comments.

Edited by Frank E Gibbard
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A breath of spring Air Frank! Really a joyous piece well crafted and fun! ;-)

 

DC&J

thegateless.org Come on over and check out my poetry substack y'all;-) Or if your bored, head to the Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/gateless. If you buy anything I lose a bet, so consider that before you violate the digital rules.

 

Gate(less.png

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Frank E Gibbard

Thanks due belatedly Tony and doctor for your comments.

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