Canto I: Mother(R)

[abstrect-christ]

5 part story told canto style, so all Canto's will be released by the end of next week giving people time to read each in their own time(aside from the obv. posting limit.)

 

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Demons haunt me:

hollow and blank;

 

saw your beauty at night --

then there was him:

‘how could you choose another?

Was I not the only one?’

Tornadoes in my mind

I thought I was the only one,

 

Lies, lies, lies! That’s all I heard from your mouth --

As it slowly pumped black jackets and pupae.

 

I.

Torn, tattered, fragments everywhere;

My mind racing, images and images of your radiant beauty

I could see your heart pumping

Red, blue, mine nothing but bile.

 

Devising, factoring my thoughts-

first of suicide, then of lust;

neither will do you have it coming.

 

Those horrible sounds -- images --

why’d you have to choose him?

 

II.

And as time went on a plan gets laid --

Just like your corpse he serves you well;

the knife in my hand, blood amidst my veins --

your look of fear,

this twisted love must come to an end.

 

III.

The corpse previously thought of

now a dark red chaos-

I’ve stopped the pain -- the gore of it all --

you plead for life and solicited help from god;

I could see it in your eyes -- your soul --

you loved that man(visions of more pupae spreading)

lying in your grave

(further decomposing vision of air in lungs;)

 

enraged! When will this disappear?!

The flex of my arm in one-fell-swoop,

your “god” cut short in the dawning stream --

not stopping -- need proof -- the decomposition-

Stopped- He won’t come between us anymore.

 

IV.

The Demons haunting me:

my investigation like a surgeon,

a doctor cleaning a wound;

the corrosion went deep

exploring her intestines,

hand in her warm womb-

Blood in my pupils --

reality funneled down a fixed point;

 

cutting, skin of my arm a thread

over the mirror like blade,

a contaminate;

an Abstrect Tide red in my view

is twisting a knot, the knot I desire.

 

V.

Free of all pain, one step forward --

experiencing denials, expecting no quarter --

‘why did it have to be him?’

I question as Mother lay in front of me

before the inevitable snap puts me in Limbo.

 

A Great Twilight engulfs my end,

Obsidian darkness except for the crimson bed.

 

by Jeremy Swyck

(refurb:11/15/09)

Edited May 2, 2011 by abstrect-christ

[rosschandler]

very nice. my favaorite of yours. its very dark, like i like it. its structured very well also.

[tonyv]

I love where this canto series is taking me, Jeremy. The refrain that shows up from time to time -- why did you have to choose him??? -- is Freudian with an eerie edge.

 

Tony

[Frank E Gibbard]

I am getting into this and liking the style Ac, but will take a rain cheque on commenting till I catch up with the sequels, as it were. Thanks for the opportunity to dip into a longish read and some meaty stuff I am partial to if it is well handled. As an opinion indicator before returning to the whole, interest definitely aroused here to see where this is going.

Edited May 3, 2011 by Frank E Gibbard

[abstrect-christ]

thanks tony, ross and frank ^-^ I decided to just put the last of them up and let those interested read them so ya, happy reading... it's a long one... I know cause all together the story makes 16 pages. >.>

[David W. Parsley]

Abs, I have to echo the other posts about this piece: eerily Freudian, epic, ackowledging the transcendant, Tragic. Sophoclean tone. At times it feels like I am witness to the throes of a sentient abortion victim, at times hearing the voice of rejected Deity. I have yet to read the other Cantos. I know I am only just beginning an attempt at understanding. Wanted to share my first impressions.

 

- Dave

[abstrect-christ]

thanks david. ^-^