JoelJosol Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) When reds, yellows and greens have lost their brilliance, and the lake's deep blue has turned into shades of grey, While on this ground, brown and dry, falls the first rain showers mixing you, earth and tears- a good-bye to many shared summers. Edited May 20, 2011 by JoelJosol Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) When reds, yellows and greenshave lost their brilliance, and the lake's deep blue has turned into shades of grey. While on this ground, brown and dry, falls the first rain showers mixing you, earth and tears- a good-bye to many shared summers. Hello Joel I love the way you use colour, as in reds yellows and greens, then blue, grey and brown. You paint poetry with the palette of an artist. A most enjoyable read/rich in colourful imagery/loved it. Best wishes Rea Edited May 14, 2011 by Rea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 mixing you, earth and tears-a good-bye to many shared summers. Hi Joel, This is not only visually appealing, it paints an emotion that is only verbalized in the last line. It is beautiful. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abstrect-christ Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Nice indeed. Quote Pinhead "Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends. There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh." Joey "I don't believe you." Pinhead "Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume. To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart." "There's a starving beast inside my chestplaying with me until he's boredThen, slowly burying his tusks in my fleshcrawling his way out he rips open old woundsWhen I reach for the knife placed on the bedside tableits blade reflects my determined faceto plant it in my chestand carve a hole so deep it snaps my veinsHollow me out, I want to feel empty"-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreakerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8 "Sky turns to a deeper grey the sun fades by the moon hell's come from the distant hills tortures dreams of the doomed and they pray, yet they prey and they pray, still they prey"-- "Still They Prey" by Coughhttps://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 You're in the northern hemisphere, Joel. Was this composed at the close of last summer? I liked how "the lake's deep blue has turned into shades of gray." And "mixing you, earth, and tears" is heart wrenching. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 20, 2011 Author Share Posted May 20, 2011 Thanks, Rhea for the appreciation for the imagery. Thanks, AC, too for the appreciation. Thanks, Tink and Tony, for catching the key lines. It was a poem I wrote for my father-in-law who passed away one week ago, towards the close of summer. Yes, Tony, our rainy season has begun. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Very well expressed feeling, Joel. Very soft sadness. I like your play with the colors. Well done. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 earth and tears made me want to write a poem badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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