badger11 Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 (edited) Mary's awake, sipping a cup of camomile to soothe her smile, her eyes sparkle wide with the breeze-whisper, her mind hearing a girl playing laughing games beneath the copper beech. Tonight untamed she will embrace a plume of falling stars as soft as feathery rain, blush the earth with lust and tears, ghost into a past. Arriving late I find her curled beneath the old tree, the rusted leaves hushed with dew, her face as pale as the lifeless moon. Edited May 27, 2011 by badger11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Mary's sipping a cup of camomile to soothe her smile, her eyes sparkle wide with the breeze-whisper, her mind hearing a girl playing laughing games beneath the copper beech. Tonight untamed she will embrace a plume of falling stars as soft as feathery rain, blush the earth with lust and tears, ghost into a past. Arriving late I find her curled beneath the old tree, the rusted leaves hushed with dew, her face as pale as the lifeless moon. Hello Badger This is written with beautifully imagery throughout, as in eg, "a plume of falling stars as soft as feathery rain", enchanting. A joy to read/ well done. Any insight in to last stanza? Best wishes Rea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 The speaker's and Mary's world is somewhere between the scientifically and religiously exact. I imagine it's far north in the northern hemisphere, and it extends from the ground to just outside the earth's atmosphere. There beneath the unobtrusive stars, more distant than they appear from Earth, is the place in which they meet. It's bound by the laws of the known universe, yet at the same time it's a place where they've been granted a reprieve: God is not watching there; perhaps He's off tending to something else. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 Thank you Rea and Tony. The thread of stories to folktales, myths, and beliefs is always there for context - consciously and otherwise. Perhaps my 'insight' Rea is to start with 'I imagine', the personal experience may thread to the poet's intention, and if it doesn't...it still may reveal some 'insight'. many thanks both badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 Hi Badge. I read this excellent poem with some sadness. It prompted me to think of visiting a loved one in a nursing home. Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 I'm sorry this brought you sad memories B. My intention is always to write happy poems, but usually the words tell me otherwise. take care badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abstrect-christ Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 nicely done in imagery and expression. Quote Pinhead "Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends. There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh." Joey "I don't believe you." Pinhead "Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume. To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart." "There's a starving beast inside my chestplaying with me until he's boredThen, slowly burying his tusks in my fleshcrawling his way out he rips open old woundsWhen I reach for the knife placed on the bedside tableits blade reflects my determined faceto plant it in my chestand carve a hole so deep it snaps my veinsHollow me out, I want to feel empty"-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreakerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8 "Sky turns to a deeper grey the sun fades by the moon hell's come from the distant hills tortures dreams of the doomed and they pray, yet they prey and they pray, still they prey"-- "Still They Prey" by Coughhttps://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 27, 2011 Share Posted May 27, 2011 Hi Badge, The imagery in this piece is beautiful. I was a bit confused by the opening line.... I kept asking Mary's what? For me a word is missing. But getting past the first line, I was affected by the words as melancholy. I thought of friends forgotten and was prompted to make contact. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Share Posted May 27, 2011 pleased you enjoyed AC badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Share Posted May 27, 2011 thanks Tink. The opening was a little experiment, that doesn't quite deliver so I've amended. Appreciate the nudge and pleased that this has nudged you to contact some friends. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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