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In Memory of....


Rea
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I wept in time to silent nights,

where tears weave mantelled sparkling lights

I wept in time to roses, bloom,

a budding blossom, a spring time tune

 

I wept in time to misted rain

that lapped with silence, crowned terrain

I wept in time to beauty's youth

where angels wept, clasping truth

 

I wept in time to desert sands

where orchids wild, sprinkled lands

I wept in time to golden beach

where ebbing tides wear floral wreaths

 

I wept in time to distant drums

that stole your heart, your spirit numbs.

 

I wept beside your lonely tomb

where blood red roses

Spring time bloom

 

© Rea 14th January 2011

 

In memory of..

 

I wept in time through silent nights

where tears wove sparkling mantelled lights

that trickled down a rose to bloom

and mingled with it's sweet perfume

 

I wept in time through misty rain

on hills that formed a wild terrain

adorned with beauty and with youth

where angels reach out for the truth

 

I wept in time on desert sand

and strewed wild orchids on a land

that swept down to a golden beach

where ebbing tides wore floral wreaths

 

I wept beside your lonely tomb

where freshly garnered roses bloom

 

-- Rea & Benjamin

 

 

Thank you Benjamin, for revisions, it has made it more beautiful to read.

A perfect tribute.

Edited by Rea
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Very impressive re-write, Rea. You've fixed the irregularities in the meter, improved the piece overall by reducing the amount of repetition so that it's just right, and fashioned the poem into a competent sonnet. Well done!

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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Very impressive re-write, Rea. You've fixed the irregularities in the meter, improved the piece overall by reducing the amount of repetition so that it's just right, and fashioned the poem into a competent sonnet. Well done!

 

Tony

 

Hello Tony

I posted at the end of the revised poem, a thank you, to Benjamin for editing, original poem

 

In relation to your comments, I did not change or alter the poem, Benjamin did, and fashioned the poem into a competent sonnet, so praise of "well done", should rightly go to Benjamin.

Thank you for commenting.

Best wishes

Rea

 

Edited by Rea
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  • 5 weeks later...
Larsen M. Callirhoe

wow both versions are so amazing. i see the vision rea had and i felt in my heart what benjami's mind pictured. bravo to boh of you. rea it was a little choppy but benjain fixed it maybe to perfect wow. i hve had that done to a gew poems. wow!

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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I wept in time to silent nights,

where tears weave mantelled sparkling lights

I wept in time to roses, bloom,

a budding blossom, a spring time tune

 

I wept in time to misted rain

that lapped with silence, crowned terrain

I wept in time to beauty's youth

where angels wept, clasping truth

 

I wept in time to desert sands

where orchids wild, sprinkled lands

I wept in time to golden beach

where ebbing tides wear floral wreaths

 

I wept in time to distant drums

that stole your heart, your spirit numbs.

 

I wept beside your lonely tomb

where blood red roses

Spring time bloom

 

© Rea 14th January 2011

 

In memory of..

 

I wept in time through silent nights

where tears wove sparkling mantelled lights

that trickled down a rose to bloom

and mingled with it's sweet perfume

 

I wept in time through misty rain

on hills that formed a wild terrain

adorned with beauty and with youth

where angels reach out for the truth

 

I wept in time on desert sand

and strewed wild orchids on a land

that swept down to a golden beach

where ebbing tides wore floral wreaths

 

I wept beside your lonely tomb

where freshly garnered roses bloom

 

-- Rea & Benjamin

 

 

Thank you Benjamin, for revisions, it has made it more beautiful to read.

A perfect tribute.

 

A wonderful read and concept about how we measure time. We each have a different clock.

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