fdelano Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 (edited) Cleaving My finger tip ridges fill with a full tear, just one of a stream finding its way to your throat as you stare wide-eyed, nothing entering your understanding. Your eyes ask how I could touch you when you know I'm leaving forever. If there is still caring, why are you leaving. How can you turn away? I cannot reply with eyes that also blur, but must find the will to withdraw my gaze and finger, the last connectors burning with a confusion of regret. Where will I go except to grieve? What will I do with this last look and touch of your skin under salty emotions of already killing want? Where will you go to fall like the dropping beautiful ball in Times Square as this new year begins in a split second? Edited July 9, 2011 by fdelano Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Formatting is impossible, to me. My bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rea Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 (edited) Formatting is impossible, to me. My bad. Hello Fdelano What a beautiful picture of love and parting you paint, love the metaphors, love the poem, particularly the last stanza, a joy to read. Warm regards Rea Edited July 10, 2011 by Rea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Effective, Franklin. Not that it needs it, but I'd love to know some background on the inspiration for this one. Tony PS -- What are you trying to do with the formatting? Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted July 22, 2011 Share Posted July 22, 2011 I am new around here. This poem help convinced me I should join. Nuanced capture of a devastating moment. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted July 23, 2011 Author Share Posted July 23, 2011 Cleaving My finger tip ridges fill with a full tear, just one of a stream finding its way to your throat as you stare wide-eyed, nothing entering your understanding. Your eyes ask how I could touch you when you know I'm leaving forever. If there is still caring, why are you leaving. How can you turn away? [/size] I cannot reply with eyes that also blur, but must find the will to withdraw my gaze and finger, the last connectors burning with a confusion of regret. Where will I go except to grieve? What will I do with this last look and touch of your skin under salty emotions of already killing want? Where will you go to fall like the dropping beautiful ball in Times Square as this new year begins in a split second? Thank you all for finding something in this. In explanation, the N is not always the author, but almost always draws from the N's life experiences. The success of any poem is its effect on the reader, intended or not. fdh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 wow, so sad. you pictured your words perfect. sometimes sophicticated vernacular draws me away from the authir's true vision. but i don't believe that in this instance. the choice ending of your poem is something i might never forget having stumbled upon. as sometimes in life you come upon something you will never ever forget long after the inncident happens. i believe for me this is one of thosecases. wow the ending is so perfect. thank you. franklin. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 wow, so sad. you pictured your words perfect. sometimes sophicticated vernacular draws me away from the authir's true vision. but i don't believe that in this instance. the choice ending of your poem is something i might never forget having stumbled upon. as sometimes in life you come upon something you will never ever forget long after the inncident happens. i believe for me this is one of thosecases. wow the ending is so perfect. thank you. franklin. victor Thanks for your words, Victor. Glad they made sense to you--or maybe not if they hit too close to home. fdh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 hi franklin. the ending of your poem put everything into perspective of how you wished the other person in said relationship would realize the density or magnitude of the finality of perhaps the last goodbye forever. the end really grabbed me. i used something simiilar in a poem but i lost it in a computer virus august 2002. i was so pissed off. but that is another story for another time. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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