eclipse Posted July 23, 2011 Share Posted July 23, 2011 London has cradled this aboriginal Scotsman, the London sun has caged a a glasgow tan, my hair is parted by the afterdraught of a fan formed by a flock of pigeons I feed in Hyde park. In the evening I look at the moon with one eye closed through the London eye, a bat flies through the London eye and images of London are magnified in the cave of my mind. My eyes are lit like those of a wolf researching a new forest, about to test his thresholds. In my hotel room, a wasp hovers above a candle flame-the wings’ rhythms are more accurate than the flames’ incantations-the vespine cannot land on the flame and I cannot settle in this great capital. The insect orbits the flame, his flight aligned with the receding candle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 this mustof been fun to write. thank you. i enjoyed reading this immensely. very creative. i love poetry like this. the imagery is suberb. first rate. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 I like this a lot, Eclipse, especially the mention(s) of The London Eye and how the bat flies through it. (I watch the bats almost every night.) From the poem I get a sense of being away from home, of a stranger in somewhat strange though not completely unfamiliar environs. I also get a lot of the same feelings I get when I read one of my favorite poems: Larkin's "Friday Night in the Royal Station Hotel." Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 Put me on the Like list. The shifts are startling and revealing. The refraining word, "London", adds to the sense of discomfort, something that just doesn't square with the observer. This wolf will be passing on. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I like this one probably because as a northerner I can appreciate the alien world you touch upon. Loved the Glasgow tan and the ubiquitous pigeons. The language choice is most apt and the poem flows freely. I agree with Dave about your use of "London" and the sense of discomfort it imbues. Although I would have not used the word “discomfort” but then I am biased. :icon_sunny: Well done. Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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