Frank E Gibbard Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 In fading light of an African veldt, An ageing lion with a fraying pelt Stands stolidly in the grassy plain Once mighty powers on their wane; Old weak bones now wont to creak In a body no longer swift or sleek. Bereft of pride he still looks proud Mane held high and head unbowed. He roared around the coppering sky But the firmament proffered no reply. Turning undaunted he trotted back Along a darkening and rutted track, To an empty den and his lonely bed Where a tired king could rest a head. {imghttp://i48.servimg.com/u/f48/12/28/23/30/800px-10.jpg[/img][/img] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Hello Frank, How vividly you portray this King of the beasts in his waning days! A sense of not only physical frailty but also a keen sense of loneliness comes across in your poem. I like these details in your use of images and language: "fraying pelt, coppering sky, darkening and rutted track" and also how you use 'firmament" to suggest not just the earth/ground but also the grasp on life. Thank you for a good read. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I, too, like the expressions Golden pointed out, particularly coppering sky. I also like your use of the word stolidly. The last couplet is especially melancholic. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawn shop Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Outstanding Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 thanks folks for nice reception, Frank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fader Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I love this poem frank! I had to come read it again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank E Gibbard Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 Finally fader we meet at PMO at last I made it friend. Glad you like the final version of the poor old lion, he has been pulled hither and thither through various choppings and changings workshopped to a frazzle - I am happy with this in the end. See you here and there fader. Frank Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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