Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 (edited) I remember the day when we first met. That special look in your eyes that you gave me, that you always gave me thereafter thru out the relationship. I really loved the attention you gave me back then. Likewise I loved indulging in you. Oh, how I reflected today reminiscing pondering robustfully in much faith. My belief back then was to capture your desires completely everyday. I was mystified being completely bewildered over you and so simplified persona wise. Oh, how you truly made my eyes melt the snow like magic someway every year as each passing winter snow did fall from the sky. It was always like magic for us. It seemed every winter we celebrated our anniversary together. Somehow, someway, we always managed to find sometime to share together time to watch the snowflakes float to the ground during wintertime when snow fell out. Earlier that day when we both first glanced at one another. I felt fire in my spirit especially after hearing your intriguing most gleeful voice. After you heard my charismatic voice you knew in your heart we were meant to be and so did I. The day we first met it was more then love at first site for us each. Fireworks went off in your head. You told me this to when you and I had first engaged in talking. That will always be a most magical moment back then of time for us both being etched in our recollected memories and memoirs. That amazing first eye to eye glance back then we both did share of us we will always both hold it dear and sacred. We both couldn't keep our eyes off one another in reflection. We both chased the sparks flying and the the signals we sent were very clear. When I did eventually ask you for your home phone number hours later. I can only recall a most happy look on your face and contenance. You also were not only so eager to give it to me but, I made your hopes become a true reality. I confessed fast I was indeed insinuating desiring to be a item with you willingly. Funny how time really does change the perception and understanding of one's outlook on life. This relationship would definitely come back to bite me in the ass! I remembered our first date Christmas Day 1995. We went to see a movie lots of laughter. It was titled "Love at First Bite." I even remembered our first kiss down at the river dock New Year's Eve Winter of 1995. This sweet memory we both shared back then. How I only wished that we could relive those truly special magical moments we both went thru.. Unfortunately fate tore us apart. You had your modeling career. I had my traveling with the business practice I opened up a few years prior. When you told me tonight you were leaving me because you were seeing another man sexually. Oh my God, my heart mustof fainted a million miles away though how could've you ever of seen that I figured assertively. Did you still even care I wondered absorbingly? "What about the kids," I wanted to tell her. My thoughts were what about our kids. I thought. Dwelling on the issue of care concerning our kids I recognized this real necessity knowingly and quickly. She in this spat might just become to tantilizing even for my own inward taste. For I started thinking half archaicly to myself that somehow she could or would really might decide to really respond to me now. I plead, prayed, beseeched, and entreated her deligently. The picture I had resembling our union was now not what I had visioned it to be. The magic was completely over. Wishing that she had only listened to me mere months ago. It is time indeed to talk for more then a few freaking moments. We have to start discussing custody rights too. It seems she had other plans for herself tonight also. Besides all the in-crowd models would more-then-likely be there. Lots of booze, cocaine, and easy females no doubt. My wife's kinda scene. This year's all the Santa's Helpers will be attending the annual Christmas bash a sure smash. Walking extremely fast out the door one stormy night of our once humble abode being somewhat p------off. She my wife slammed the house door walking towards her car very angerly. I never saw it coming the signs that she was so unhappy and wanted to leave now for months. Self-righteously I was thinking as she drove out of the car driveway. Self absorbed I was screaming at her now very loudly at the top of my lungs to no avail some very choice words expletively. "And what about the twenty years of marriage, what about that." It all caught up on me so fast the realization that my marriage was now in shambles. . How could you have just walked away from me? With that all to self-indulgent demeanoring look in your face that you always gave me when you were upset with me. That is how you left me. A moment that will haunt me forever. I wept when my eyes hit the pillow that night. How, oh, how could I face the next day. I was alone, hadn't felt this way in twenty years. I wanted to die without you by my side. Inwardly I had to go on and be strong. I had to go on and fight if for nothing else then to go on for the sake of our three lovely daughters. If she hadn't left me yesterday telling me of her infidelities it would have been our 20th anniversary today. I woke up very gingerly the next morning very early. I woke up to a solace pounding on the door at around 6:00 am. Still partially drunk from cursing up a storm at God the night before I half fell stumbling over a empty Voldka bottle reaching for the door. It was a County Sherrif with two county crisis counselors looking so dejected and melancholic at me. Still feeling so very heartbroken and somewhat drunk from the foolish lewdness I partook of the night before. I was thinking selfishly to myself. What else could it possible be now? As if any other misfortune would bestowed on me worse than divorce papers. God what could this be now? What is transpiring? The patrol man saw I was already feeling really downtrodden said to me saddly "Sir we regret to inform you your wife was in a car accident around 11:00 pm last night. She died on the scene off exit 21 of Highway 1." The last thing I remembered about her was this. She gave me the same glance she gave me way back when we first met. This transparent look was my last memory I had of her. I would also talk about the last time we both chatted before she left at the funeral as she drove away out of the driveway like a bat outof Hell. To me it was at least a nod that she did still feel the times we shared together. Her look she gave me when we first fell in love as she drove away will haunt me I reckon till my dieing days. Then again maybe someone new will come. It would all be a blur till after the final wake. "What about our daughters, Christ," I said. Even more teardrops fell so quickly streaming down burstng out of my already welted up teary misty eyes crying heavily all night till a few hours before the news I received about me becoming a widow. Immeadiately following the words that the deputy spoke to me his spoken words continued echoing in my already depressed thoughts playing havoc with my heart making it also ache so much the pain that pounded in my veins. All three of my daughters nudged me swiftly after the officer's words being woken and disturbed by the loud commotion brewing also. They embraced ' me already weeping adamently. It took all my strenght and courage to muster up a weak conviction which is all I could say then to them. I said "despite the loss of my wife and being your mother also we will still continue to grow together always as a family unit honoring her till we are old and grey." At the funeral I did the eulogy. To see my young vibrant daughters so happy only a few days ago. Now weeping so hard. That was all the burden my passionate heart could surmise or ever take. After all I was therefore only human. Edited October 4, 2011 by Larsen M. Callirhoe Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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