Benjamin Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 (edited) From vaulted halls of spiralled words tattooed on ancient manuscripts, the clefs of singing minarets parley with crotchet synagogues. Cathedrals boom toccatan might in far flung flying buttress chords, to dance the dust of quaver shrines in codas of the three blind mice. And galleon concertos rush to expurgate the ulian pipes, as cutlass concertinas fade in cadences of gasping breath. Tremolo scimitars of dhows hypnotic and so finely honed, augment the fakir's wailing pungi, charm new snakes from old bazaars. Shrill pizzicato politicians dance their sarabandes of wealth, ring turgid false arpeggios, sing upside down and back to front their choruses of inside out. They bend and sway collectively with dark conductors and their choirs in staggered never ending rounds. Befuddled matchstick people sob their sorrows into brazier fires. Loud and tatty arcades thrum, and pregnant wheelie bins in rows salute their saviour by the road. The busker on a daily rant, impatiently looks up and waits a one-eyed limping man called Hope. Edited July 26, 2011 by Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 Very well composed, Geoff, with incredible vocabulary throughout. This calls to mind those age-old political institutions that are the world's organized religions. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted July 29, 2011 Author Share Posted July 29, 2011 Thanks for the feedback Tony. I put this together rather like a piece of abstract art to let the reader make of it what they will. Not everyone's cup of tea admittedly but I enjoyed the self-indulgence. :icon_sunny: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 wow so mamy ways to look at this poem. the articulation, the religious overtone or the abstract way religion is or the way iy should really be. i a impressed with the vernacular words ised thru out the [pem. something to ponder over is just the awesome vpcabulary used. wow. thos poem has so much to over on many levels. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted July 30, 2011 Share Posted July 30, 2011 Just some thoughts about the poem: 1. Reminds me of examples of what Robert Bly used to call 'leaping poetry,' justifying the title. There is a persisting theme of performing varying types of traditional music in their traditional contexts, but the transitions are deliberately abrupt and disjointed. The leaping aspect is heightened by unusual juxtapositions that do not submit to immediate analysis: "crotchet synagogues", "quaver shrines", "galleon concertos", etc. Almost seems stream-of-consciousness. Come to think of it, almost a Garcia Lorca way of moving. 2. I like the way it sounds. I like the way it moves. 3. A few turns of phrase tread near the mundane, which is jarring in a poem with so much that is startling. Examples: "finely honed", "never ending rounds", ... could just be me. 4. Like some of the other commentators, I get a sense that there is this dance of traditional institutions blind to common miseries and needs. But it may be vain to pin this poem down, it is a leaper! - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted July 30, 2011 Author Share Posted July 30, 2011 Victor. Thank you for reading and leaving comment. Dave. Your comments are much appreciated and noted. I enclose the following feedback from someone on another forum whom I hold in high regard. “I particularly enjoy the pieces you've been posting lately, strange and inevitable, excellent poetry. They read to me as the natural outflow from dadaism and surrealism to contemporary verse, accessible while challenging the reader to dare start seeing things.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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