Benjamin Posted August 5, 2011 Posted August 5, 2011 (edited) So difficult to define things hidden behind the veil of our dark confessional. Justify their silhouettes through daylight's incisive truth. Find excuses for a trail of sad rooms and cigarettes. Sigh, and take my leave of you knowing we may stand or fall. And wonder if it was all a glorious waste of time. Look back at the hill we climb that towers above a swirl of mist round the lovers thrall. Breathe in clear fresh air and let it guide such parodies through as reinforce the brief view. Watch as seasons rise and fall, appreciate most of all, a glorious waste of time Edited October 31, 2012 by Benjamin Quote
dr_con Posted August 6, 2011 Posted August 6, 2011 The last line is perfect. A lovely cynical romp- Enjoyed! DC&J Quote thegateless.org
Benjamin Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 Thanks DC. Have been wanting to write something using this format for some time though wasn't sure this theme was the right one. Benjamin Quote
Tinker Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Hi Geoff, I don't think I've come across this Seven/Eleven form before. 11 lines of 7 syllables each provide just enough space to create the moment. A reflection of your thoughts. I have to admit I've thought the same thing, why am I wasting my time doing this poetry thing when there is so much other stuff to be done... But you saved the day with the word glorious.... yep, we all need that space that is gloriously just ours even though others and even ourselves sometimes, might consider it a waste of time. I for one am grateful you have indulged... I enjoy reading your work. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com
Benjamin Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 Hi Tink Thanks for looking in. Your comments are appreciated. I wrote this a couple of days ago after listening to a radio broadcast on our national BBC Radio 4. The gist of which was that many literary academics dislike poetry. This was endorsed by someone who stated that in the UK. a poetry best-seller is a mere 2,000 copies. It prompted me to re-read the syllabic poem "In my craft or sullen art" By Dylan Thomas. I find expressing myself in poetry almost as satisfying as playing the guitar, :icon_cool: Geoff f Quote
David W. Parsley Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 (edited) Hi Geoff, I like it too. To me poetry is an irreplaceable medium of expression (like music picked and strummed from a stringed instrument.) A wider audience would be very nice, but audience depth is nice, too. I don't mind the absence of the BBC commentator and a few academics. But I would like to affect some more of the others. Alert form identification by dr con (probably Tinker as well)! Not one I have tried myself, or even remember seeing before. Where did you learn about it? Are there other features than the line and syllable counts? - Dave Edited August 7, 2011 by David W. Parsley Quote
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted August 8, 2011 Posted August 8, 2011 i think i would like to give my two cents worth here on the subect. a couple hundred years ago and prior ages the masses had more time to express themselves in the arts or indulge oneself in the arts like for example poetry as a hobby, to be assertive, to be creative, entertain, or to make a living. a novelthat has suspens, intriguem nurder, affairs, forenication, is more interesting and worthwhile to read. i myself have only bought one poetry book. my reason society being most people don't really dive into entertainment of reading poetry books is because of two reasons. one reason and this is a very logical theory or assumption most people don't get ino the whatnot's of poetryin modern times so much to say is because of the philosophy and concepts of what poetry is suppose to be produced as in relating to syntax. and second reason people don't get into poetry to much is because poetry is very simple to post on the internet because you can post most poems on web pages very easily. i have seen so many poetry forums get deleted sad history. alll that influx of wealth in literature deleted just because it cost money to keep a forum on the net. i just wished history of stuffed posted on the internet could stay. i have time to get into poetry. in today's world most don't have time to get into reading poems or writing them.that is ok also but if you do have the time to do so i would welcome it. i love witty poetic phrases when i read a book, a article, or poetry in literature. i write longer poetry most times because i think in pose format oddly. as for your poem i prefer freestyle more often that not but ii can really respect something like what you wrote and posted. it takes a little time to mesh words in a form like this so they converge into unison, but about poetry to is stuff that really deters many awayy from this. there is so manyy forms that exist just look at what tinker has unvieled reserching she has discovered and learned. the thing with this is this list of poetry formats will grow to infinite styles and being a reading reading poems in some of these styles i would think the context and drift of wht you get accross to the reader would be lost in ,y opinion. i sway this from experience. i wrote metered poetry about the love of my soulmate amd i am us meeting after christ returns and by the time i finished this exploration i lost to much meaning for me to post those few poems. that is why i don't explore those avenues often. but i am very impressed when i see a poem in a certain form0a0t. as for haiku and senyru i perfer ;onger poems then 0.....when in thes0e type of short poems only 17 sylables or less is in these style trpe of formats. i like using larger words when i can to crasp a better meaning. in school we had to write haikus. i didn't write any for that process of high school because it has no imagination or freedom of profliveration of word usage. my point is if i only knew i would have completed those simple assignments, but because of that very same reason many males are defered away from poetry for that reason. strange as it sounds there is more males posting on 3 sites i post to often or use to. two of those sites are deleted. the other isnpoetry conection that as been around quite awhile. now more males are posting here at the moment. i post on another two poetry forums and the ,majority of posters are females. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe
Benjamin Posted August 8, 2011 Author Posted August 8, 2011 (edited) Hello Dave. There is also a rhyme scheme going on here here which is a/b/c/d/e/b/d/e/c/c/a. I read with great interest many years ago the work of certain poets from the early/mid 20th century who experimented with syllabic verse. For example: Marian Moore's 1940 poem "In Distrust of Merits" had a mix of hybrid lines which integrated a rhyme scheme.Later Dylan Thomas in his mature work experimented with syllabics and complex rhyme. Victor. As we used to say in my youth, "If it feels good-- do it!"” I agree it's each to his own, but it strikes me that far more people take the trouble to write poetry than actually take the time to read it. It has been said that poetry is pure feeling which should make it a truly boundless medium. Just a personal observation which probably counts for nothing in the great scheme of things. Edited October 31, 2012 by Benjamin Quote
Benjamin Posted August 10, 2011 Author Posted August 10, 2011 My apologies to those who have aready commented on this poem, but on reflection I decided to add a further verse. This will be my last posting for at least three weeks as I am scheduled for eye-surgery tomorrow. Regards to all. Benjamin. Quote
tonyv Posted August 15, 2011 Posted August 15, 2011 An inspiring work in its own right, Geoff. Thank you for this. And I just read now what you posted about the surgery. Please be okay and recover from it well and quickly. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
Benjamin Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 Belated thanks for your comments and good wishes Tony. Surgery went well. I'm now in a six week recovery window and although my reading/writing activities are very limited, I hope to be back to normal in due course. Regards G. :icon_cool: Quote
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 you are in are thoughts. i hope you rcover completely. i like the second verse. it really meshes well with the above paragraph. the content flowed well in the first stanza and stays that way in te second stanza. much enjoyed. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe
Benjamin Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 Thank you Victor your thoughts are appreciated. Benjamin Quote
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