Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Under The Stars I hold you my beloved in my arms ever so tightly and ever so calmly under the canopy of the nighttime sky. I wish for a shooting star to pass by. Many of the vast stars in the heavens twinkle on us this evening by the sea. In the shallow water we dance merrily as the tides come crashing in and out. I make love to Elizabeth in the ocean the water was very salty were we had intercourse on the beach Miami, Florida. Half naked models watch us at dawn. Neither of us mind the models watching us make love in the ocean till sunrise. For now this is a dream, but one day it will become reality under the stars. Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted August 20, 2011 Share Posted August 20, 2011 Like the details! ;-) DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Wow Victor, This is quite different from most of your work. I loved the neat quatrains with equal length lines... it felt controlled and comfortable. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted August 21, 2011 Author Share Posted August 21, 2011 thanks dr. con for nice subtle remark. :party on: tinker yes i can be neat in my poetry lol. i am working on metered poetry to fine tune 75 percent of my poems. this poem might change a little bit still though lol. i am leaving out some details that i wouldve liked to add to this in another stana but it was only two and a half sentences and because i know others want to visualise on their own i cut it out instead of adding more details. i know poetry i sppose to be show not tell so stanza three i think cold be reworded still. but on the other hand people want to use their own imgination so the poem is stck in this format where i could change a word here or there in it for months. thankyou for yor kind remarks. coming from your scholarly type research it means a lot your remarks. :party on: . victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.