The Humber

[eclipse]

Swaying calm and silently

the bridge keeps our view,

like being held in Neptune's

palm and seeing anew the tide

merging with rain falling from

Humber skies and regretting in

vain memories future and past

blurring with truth and lies.

 

On the sands below I see an

approaching storm the bridge

takes another form, I hold it

in my palm wasn't it after all

built by man? and made by

some distant architect with

designs and a plan.

 

The fog covers the bridge in

a false skin, Hull now has a

synthetic coat of wine and

coffee bars with staff that

gloat and customers who behave

like stars but the same winds

blow the same river flows to

energize the towns history.

[tonyv]

Well composed, Eclipse. You've succinctly captured the evolution of a region. I like poems like this. Not too short, not too long, very Larkin-like. (He was from Hull.)

 

Tony

[Benjamin]

You've got the essence of this just right. The poem flows well with subtle in line rhymes.I know this area well and have driven over the bridge many times. It offers unique views, each time different to the last. B.

[David W. Parsley]

Hi Eclipse,

 

I applaud another appearance of this type of poem in your porfolio. It comes with your trademark internal rhymes and perspective bending imagery, but with a strong sense of place and people reminiscent of "London Eye," only more accessible somehow. Left wondering if it would benefit for smithing a few phrases like "vain memories" (oh, those again...), "designs and a plan," etc. I found perplexity in the following notions, but that may be what I am supposed to find and ponder:

- Seeing a storm approach by looking down at the sand - perhaps in reflections from tongues of water across the sand? shadows of storm clouds? lightning flashes of illumination?

- Customers behaving like stars - remote, disconnected? Constant, appearing regularly in the same seats? Other? All of the above?

 

Thanks for a stimulating read with an engaging atmosphere.

 

- Dave