eclipse Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 Swaying calm and silently the bridge keeps our view, like being held in Neptune's palm and seeing anew the tide merging with rain falling from Humber skies and regretting in vain memories future and past blurring with truth and lies. On the sands below I see an approaching storm the bridge takes another form, I hold it in my palm wasn't it after all built by man? and made by some distant architect with designs and a plan. The fog covers the bridge in a false skin, Hull now has a synthetic coat of wine and coffee bars with staff that gloat and customers who behave like stars but the same winds blow the same river flows to energize the towns history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Well composed, Eclipse. You've succinctly captured the evolution of a region. I like poems like this. Not too short, not too long, very Larkin-like. (He was from Hull.) Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 You've got the essence of this just right. The poem flows well with subtle in line rhymes.I know this area well and have driven over the bridge many times. It offers unique views, each time different to the last. B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Hi Eclipse, I applaud another appearance of this type of poem in your porfolio. It comes with your trademark internal rhymes and perspective bending imagery, but with a strong sense of place and people reminiscent of "London Eye," only more accessible somehow. Left wondering if it would benefit for smithing a few phrases like "vain memories" (oh, those again...), "designs and a plan," etc. I found perplexity in the following notions, but that may be what I am supposed to find and ponder: - Seeing a storm approach by looking down at the sand - perhaps in reflections from tongues of water across the sand? shadows of storm clouds? lightning flashes of illumination? - Customers behaving like stars - remote, disconnected? Constant, appearing regularly in the same seats? Other? All of the above? Thanks for a stimulating read with an engaging atmosphere. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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