eclipse Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 This young girl couldn't read but she would write with an inkless pen, her parents would fight locking her away for days in a concealed den with a thin window, she write about the fading light of dying stars and how the darkness hid her scars. Between her parents wars the girl watered plants and flowers with an empty watering can on rare days out in this little garden with the endless drought. Once again back in her hidden den she observed a comet and prayed for it's fire to fill her inkless pen and on the wall she wrote in flames about her parents awful games, this fiery writing could not be blown out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted August 28, 2011 Share Posted August 28, 2011 this is so sad. made me welt up. very well placed metaphor at the end. wasn' sure about the title of the poem till i read the end. excellent poem. i do wonder who was the subject of the poem if you don't mind revealing? victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Heart wrenching. Comets and stars and clouds and other things that are just out of reach are nevertheless in some way hopeful. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Eclipse, this piece would be unbearably tragic if not for the child's resourcefulness in a punishing environment. This resource speaks to the hope in all of us, the treasure of our own ability to commune through our own narrow windows to reach for things that transcend present circumstance. She is a survivor and the poem's language realizes well, not just the desperation, but a deep-seated nobibility twisted by circumstance. But one senses a preserved path to triumph, however tangled ahead. Bravo. (I stepped back from this one, afraid tha tI could not be objective. Packs a wallop.) - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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