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Poetry Magnum Opus

the sleeper in the attic


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I no longer feel the flames

of this fire straddling two

world's. How helplessly i lay

in the attic bay as the fire-starter

carves his names into the remains

of my heart while firemen carry

me away on eternity's cart. I can

see figures scaffolding vision's

out of Cains quickened gaze in the

mirrored sky of my new home as i am

raised into the waiting room. In the distance

surgeons are updating my new existence,

they operate grafting a screen onto my

stomach, in the mirrored sky in this

new implant my previous life passes by

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

like the title. it correlates with the poem. you have a very catchy cadence type rythm to thi. much enjoy...


victor michael

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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David W. Parsley

As always a compelling surreality carries the weight of real-world trauma. The closing eight lines are breathless and riveting - could make even more so with removal of "as" and going straight to "I am / raised ..."


For me the punctuation (innovation or oversight?) distracts from the poem's movement, so I would request bringing the apostrophes in where needed, removed where not. I also would like a stronger second sentence, but I think I may have already outworn my welcome, since this has not CA marking.


Thanks for another original insight with the emotion to go with it.


- Dave

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