eclipse Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 My skeleton almost shed me, ghosts of climbers dead have been fed on my cold thoughts and await a new member. Climbing this rock I have survived on the moons embers, gravity abandoned fellow climbers to darkness thinned by their wild imaginings about the painless status of ghosts and pitiless indifference of our host.Closer to earthly skies than I am to my heart nature the equalizer interrupted a prayer and deprived me of dreams. I reached the summit and waited for God to drop a ladder for me to start my ascent to Heaven,so I could steal ideas from the supreme architect. He left me shipwrecked, I left my fingerprints to migrate hoping God would create a cosmic version of myself so in the future I can create mountains like this and navigate in ecstatic bliss my own gift to the earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 More of that cosmic surreality that brings me quickly to your poems, Eclipse. Wonderful language and imagery, as always. I like the idea of this piece, but it feels unfinished. The metaphors shift a bit incongruously between rock climbing and ship navigation, and I lost the thread. Might just be me. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Sometimes it's only the appearance of a shipwreck ... like that one stuck somewhere near the peak of Mt. Ararat. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I love that first line: I also like the overall idea of the piece. Your language and imagery works for me although, if it was my poem: I'd revisit the twisted syntax in L2, re-examine “shipwrecked” and “navigate”, and perhaps consider short stanzas. But as it's not--- B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 so surreal. i love the whole journey your poem migrates me thru amd to, till the end. your scope of the horizon you view vantage point wise goes from being limited to limitless both thouhth wise and vision wise. you go methaphoricaly from spiritually wise whether intended to or not, physically wise , and mentally wise. excellent poem through and through. i thoroughy enjoyd the read. i woud assume you will get mixed reviews or responses on this write depending on the magnitude of the responders beliefs. victor michael Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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