mountain

[eclipse]

My skeleton almost shed me,

ghosts of climbers dead have

been fed on my cold thoughts

and await a new member. Climbing

this rock I have survived on the

moons embers, gravity abandoned

fellow climbers to darkness thinned

by their wild imaginings about the

painless status of ghosts and pitiless

indifference of our host.Closer to

earthly skies than I am to my heart

nature the equalizer interrupted a

prayer and deprived me of dreams.

I reached the summit and waited

for God to drop a ladder for me

to start my ascent to Heaven,so

I could steal ideas from the supreme

architect. He left me shipwrecked,

I left my fingerprints to migrate

hoping God would create a cosmic

version of myself so in the future

I can create mountains like this

and navigate in ecstatic bliss

my own gift to the earth.

[David W. Parsley]

More of that cosmic surreality that brings me quickly to your poems, Eclipse. Wonderful language and imagery, as always. I like the idea of this piece, but it feels unfinished. The metaphors shift a bit incongruously between rock climbing and ship navigation, and I lost the thread. Might just be me.

 

- Dave

[tonyv]

Sometimes it's only the appearance of a shipwreck ... like that one stuck somewhere near the peak of Mt. Ararat.

 

Tony

[Benjamin]

I love that first line: I also like the overall idea of the piece. Your language and imagery works for me although, if it was my poem: I'd revisit the twisted syntax in L2, re-examine “shipwrecked” and “navigate”, and perhaps consider short stanzas. But as it's not--- B.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

so surreal. i love the whole journey your poem migrates me thru amd to, till the end. your scope of the horizon you view vantage point wise goes from being limited to limitless both thouhth wise and vision wise. you go methaphoricaly from spiritually wise whether intended to or not, physically wise , and mentally wise. excellent poem through and through. i thoroughy enjoyd the read. i woud assume you will get mixed reviews or responses on this write depending on the magnitude of the responders beliefs.

 

 

 

victor michael