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The Ballad of Tim O'Leary


dedalus
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Tim O’Leary is pushing fifty,

Half-employed, drunk in the afternoons,

Divorced from Yvonne, who was

Such a swinging bitch in the 70s.

He wants to fuck his only daughter.

No, that is not true. He wants to fuck

A girl the same age, who looks like his daughter,

So the tears will come with the shameful semen:

He is a fucked-up person. Cries a lot.

 

Wasn’t always that way.

He was a bright young fellow, athletic,

Got a trial for the Ireland Under-20s.

It was the charm in the end that did him in .

He could talk the birds out of the trees,

No woman in four counties could resist him.

He was the cheerful, witty Laughing Boy.

I have seen the old photographs, melting yellow

Polaroids: such gay and open innocence.

 

Some people blame Yvonne, I don’t.

She put up with a hell of a lot before she left him.

Things went queer on him, getting sacked

From one job after another. He’d laugh at first,

Don’t need these fuckers! But he did.

The drink was always there, as it is in Ireland,

Along with the bitter, the sly camaraderie.

You’ll have another? Ah, sure, I will and all.

And that’s how he lost his driving licence.

 

It takes the best part of ten years to go to the dogs

In Ireland, a softy, tolerant, forgiving place,

But once you embark on the Luge, that bobsled ride,

There’s no getting back to the top of the hill,

Not in this lifetime. The Church went after him, of course,

Offering another lifetime to come. Drunk as he was,

He wasn’t stupid, he gave them the back of his hand,

Made tearful protestations to Yvonne, who’d heard it all,

Picked up the kid and left him. O’Leary’s on his own.

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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  • 2 weeks later...

The chronicle of some poor sap's downward spiral.

 

It was the charm in the end that did him in .

He could talk the birds out of the trees,

No woman in four counties could resist him.

He could talk a dog off a meat wagon and a skirt off a nun, but it did him in. Takes ten years? I could probably do it in less, lol.

 

Yvonne put up with a lot. Then again, I wonder what makes her so great ... I got the impression that once she roped him she was a bit on the unfun side.

 

Tony :)

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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There but for fortune, eh? "Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women/ They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane!"

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

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