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Poetry Magnum Opus

from an open window


eclipse
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I could see from an open window

in a field a dead child waltzing with fire,

her eyes followed a swallow

into deaths gates of sapphire.

 

 

I heard from an open window

a child's half-haunted screams

shatter the panes to

slice open my feverish dreams.

 

In a wounded reverie

a child visits me

we waltz towards

the threshold of eternity.

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Lots going on in this one, Eclipse. Delightful rhymes (fire/sapphire) intermingle with word choices that subliminally reinforce associations. Specifically, I mean your use of the word "pane" together with "screams" and "slice open my feverish dreams." "Panes" transports me to "pains." Not sure if it was intentional, but it worked. Compact and very much to my liking.

 

Tony

Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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David W. Parsley

Brief, chillingly musical, haunting: a fine gate to the month of All Hallows...

 

Gives me the urge to get up and shut the window!

 

- Dave

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

awesome poe,/ gives you much food for thought in 3 stanzas, i enjpued reading this and the imagres you keft in my mind. thnk you victor...

Larsen M. Callirhoe

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