JoelJosol Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 With backpack on his shoulders he's ready to leave this view of wide open paddies, brightly green and golden from reflections of sunlight from each basin. She often walks with him in these fields, their small talk he collects in his head like water settling in the paddies, as if to ensure high yield of recall for her. But whatever his eyes see in hers, or whatever she sows in his heart, it is not enough for promises to be made. Both are seedlings buried under water. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 This one's tight, Joel. It opens with agricultural imagery and ends with the seedling metaphor. I like your reference to the small talk he collects in his head. I've seen you employ this trope in your verse before, and I find it quite effective on a personal level. Yea, I do that, too ... One question: should bag pack be backpack? Thanks for sharing this poem ... Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 13, 2009 Author Share Posted May 13, 2009 Thanks for the catch, Tony. I corrected it. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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