Tinker Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Treasured Island "For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all of the horrors of the half-lived life." ----- Herman Melville from: Moby Dick The rocky cliffs rise above the sea, like a great wall holding back the watery main. Nations vie to control small bits of earth still, the appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, and erodes the soil 'til nothing's left but reef, like one who is stripped of all the frivolous trappings foolishly acquired in time, and then in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, a secret place which first must be found then explored and once known, treasured above all else. It is the prize esteemed the elusive isle… full of peace and joy The journey there will be filled with choices. To risk the rifts can be its own reward, stay anchored in fear and you will be encompassed by all of the horrors of the half-lived life. --------------------- Judi Van Gorder A Glosa Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Hi Tink, fascinating selection from Melville, through which you weave your own expansion of the theme. What motivated the use of the anachronistic " 'til"? In conjunction with "great wall," "watery main," "treasured above," etc., I get the feeling that you are evoking an early nineteenth century or Victorian model, but not sure I follow. I like the feel of the poem and its theme, the sound elements work well. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 excellent judy. i feel you service his writing you with great justic here. i love this particular writing by him. great passage you choose to encompase your written poem on sentimently. i love this.tinker. you know ust what to say perfetly from the studing choices of poetic style and verse type you learne an used. <...> smiles... my problems lay with i have mood swings and say to much. and when i am told to trim the fat even tho there is nothing wrong with what i wrote it tells to much and what i posteddoesn't show everything grammar wwise. i take out what words i should keep and add on to what I shoul really trim. this is my one weakness in poetry. i am working on it. when people explain this to me wh yi should do something it helps me enhance my average or mediocre poems to awesome poems. thank you victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Hi Tink. I also like the feel and theme. It appears to advocate the worth of self examination, discipline and reward. A “nothing ventured nothing gained” mini Odyssey, which brings to mind another famous line, “Go placidly amid the noise and haste.” Your language choice, format and the unusual way you have woven it into Melville's lines works for me. I felt however, that the last stanza was perhaps a little long, and laboured slightly to arrive at the final line, but that's just me.Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger11 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 Thought provoking quotation Tink, which you have threaded in an illuminating way. badge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 i can only echo the above Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I'm with the others, Tinker. A derivative work -- I like how you've taken the quote and made it your own. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.