dr_con Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 The Day after the Day before The day after two ravens sat murmuring craw looking for one more to join them high above our rough morning streets on creaky slated church peak beneath dawn’s foggy early judges sun moon peer luminous & blinded Seeing me they fly off murder interrupted I survived but they count better than m e. Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 doctor con thiis is wonderfully put. the format enticed me aswell. the title you chose for this works perfect methinks victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 Thanks! Victor much appreciated getting back after a long hiatus... ;-) Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Very well composed, Juris. I love the implications of "count," and the ending is perfect. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 For some reason (probably because it was at the front of my mind) this reminds me of a friend of mine who had to give up her job teaching. Medical experts and social security people argued between themselves that it was M.E. at the time, but several years down the line it's turned out to be M.N.D.( Motor neurone disease, and terminal.) Strange what we can read into lines that are probably so far removed from such things. Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 I am responding too early in my musing on this poem, perhaps. I just did not want to let this original construction pass uncommented. Something ineffable, echoing, slate grey and lethal just walked over my grave. Interesting way to exit a hiatus, Doc. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted November 6, 2011 Author Share Posted November 6, 2011 Tony, Benjamin, David- Many thanks for your comments- I'm slowly re-entering the world have had some big traumas as of late and trying to get my feet under me again- Greatly appreciate the feedback- and Benjamin yes something have enough gravity that they over power or re-write everything;-) DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Hi DC, The way your poem narrows down to m e in an almost petering-out effect juxtaposes effectively with the magnificent if foreboding images of nature and the edifice of the church. A pervading sense of the place of man in the larger universe. I enjoyed this contemplative piece. Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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