Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 2:38 pm 11/07 2011 Who Is The Lamb of God Here my blizzard winter begins and my blossoming spring ends. Where life is lonely I only see an empty shell devoured by serpents after the rodents have feasted. In a reflection once serenity was held. Now there is only me sitting all alone. The time ticks away into infinity. When will this clock ever end? My body temperature is on fire and I can't even hold my head up. The sun burns my eyes where I want to end it all. To look in the sky where angels dance and birds chirp away. Still no justice to end all the heat that has burned and blackened me. All God has done is let them slaughter me like a lamb at the harvest where no one feeds. All they do is drink my blood like it is an ecstacy of bread and wine. The words flow out of me like a sweet melody. I am an endless river of lost spriraling thoughts. I am in a field of dreams and I beg for mercy. Am I that divine? I'm descended from powers no one has an inkling of understanding to. To reach out my hand and be a dark Lord or be a friend to the truth and stand alone. There is another way. It is where ego’s clash as passions burn and souls are lost to lust. Fire burns along my entire aching body. Eventually everything all comes from the thundering of God's eyes that melts the ice. My hand reaches out but only a voice or two listens. Where the wind blows; softly, yet ever and gently so. Softly the wind blows and stills me in the damp night. Yet this body decays and still I am going blind. How I desire the frost more than the blazing heat of the Sun that scorches the day time sky. The horizon has seen her personality change to pink tears. What unjustice have they done unto my eyes? I have beheld the tears of my blood that flows and floods the world and seven years time has past. Several graves of loneliness caress my heart in a sea of ecstasy. Or will they leave my side when dawn rises and tomorrow comes thy way.. Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted November 5, 2011 Share Posted November 5, 2011 Victor. Victor. Wow. I want to get out now, no let me stay and be ravaged here with you. Powerfully imparted. - Dave (one complaint: "nightmare ever end" is too mundane for this highly original, impassioned poem) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted November 7, 2011 Author Share Posted November 7, 2011 Hi Dave I am getting interesting comments on this one and thank you too for reading and commenting.,. I was mediating and in a trance when I wrote this. My upstairs thoughts told me what to title tis one at. there is three choppy spots. maybe i could say. Several graves of loneliness caress my heart in a sea of ecstasy. Or will they leave my side when dawn rises and tomorrow comes thy way.. Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted November 7, 2011 Share Posted November 7, 2011 Hi Victor, A fabulous opening stanza: Here my blizzard winter begins and my blossoming spring ends. Where life is Ionely I only see a empty shell devoured by serpents after the rodents feasted The poem is trance-like and enchanting. Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Hello Victor. I don't normally enthuse about themes of personal angst, but this poem has some really good lines. I liked the impressive opening stanza, although you need to amend that typo on L5 “an empty shell”. I particularly liked “My hand reaches out but/ only a voice or two listens/ where the wind blows softly,” Benjamin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 most impressive-i have to echo the above Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abstrect-christ Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 so here I am just cruising through in the background reading some of the latest poems and then this excellent poem comes along -- great job larsen, much appreciative of the care you took in presenting this, there is however one little typo, S11 L2, it should be 'gently' -- aside from that, I only have to echo the previous accolades. -- That abstrect ninja Quote Pinhead "Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends. There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh." Joey "I don't believe you." Pinhead "Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume. To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart." "There's a starving beast inside my chestplaying with me until he's boredThen, slowly burying his tusks in my fleshcrawling his way out he rips open old woundsWhen I reach for the knife placed on the bedside tableits blade reflects my determined faceto plant it in my chestand carve a hole so deep it snaps my veinsHollow me out, I want to feel empty"-- "Being Able To Feel Nothing" by Oathbreakerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBPy3xNwwL8 "Sky turns to a deeper grey the sun fades by the moon hell's come from the distant hills tortures dreams of the doomed and they pray, yet they prey and they pray, still they prey"-- "Still They Prey" by Coughhttps://soundcloud.com/relapserecords/sets/cough-still-they-pray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted November 15, 2011 Author Share Posted November 15, 2011 thank-you everyone for the amazing comments and feedback on this one. i made a few adjustments from that made this good poem a great one. so thank you all for the insight to knudge me along the way. victor aka larsen Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Hi victor, This version does read smoother. One of your best to date. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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