dr_con Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 November The warm feral glow embraces the weathered homeless man with his card board signifier-- Ugly Sober Broke nothing works anymore Looking at us air slightly chill the smell of cold concrete comfort afternoon sunlight dimmed in this season of harvests and thinning veils-- I have nothing left to give but a brief shrug a glance of I’m with you At this moment all the long years home and warmth in the distance past peaks of those invisible mountains we label self blinding us to this now. Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Nicely done DC. "afternoon sunlight/ dimmed in this season/of harvests and thinning/veils" Almost a complete poem in itself. Benjamin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 Thanks Benjamin- Appreciate the support! DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 What the wind brings to this poem is concrete hard, unrelenting. Nice exercise of selective punctuation and enjambment (usually a trick of rhyme) to pack the poem with double entendres. Another one that rings like truth. Final stanza is penetrating and devastating, an x-ray of the human condition. One of your best, Doc. - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Hi DC, The image 'feral glow' of your opening line has a perturbing resonance with 'blinding' in your final lines. Together with 'thinning veils' these evoke a melancholy sense of the person (human being) being isolated and out of tempo with the rhythm of nature. 'seasons of harvest' bring to mind Keat's Ode to Autumn. A poem to savor. Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 You wrote with a voice of excellent intelligene here. I hold about 30 ametuer poet friends online now as dear and also one day becoming authors on the 7 poetry forums I am active on combined. My favorite poets are here but six because of the voice of my friends who are poets that talk about modern issues so cleverly. You'll here are ametuer poets that I love. Soon though will be famous. I like Shakesphere, Charles Dickens, Henery Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Richard Lovelace, Anne Rice, Stephen King, Agatha Christie, to name a few writers i adore. I try to follow in Charles Dickens foot steps and than Shakespheres naturally. DC I love my poetry friends dearly. I believe about a 100 people I met online will be famous after they are long gone. I'm in the process of making CD's of my voice reciting around 2 dozen of my poems I wrote. I will also make 2 DVD recitng 2 short stories and 2 prose fomat poems also to send to publishers so I can get my books published. I am in college now with a 93 percent grade point average in my three classes i am taking so yeah I am stoked. One of these days I wll understand your very complex writings of poetry. I see great work in a few dozen of my poetry online friends but yours I still marvel at too much. Still I try though. <smiles> <....> victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 David, Golden,and Larsen- Many thanks for your appreciative responses- Your generosity makes me want to write more- Larsen I'm sure the fault is mine;-) Many Thanks DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.