Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

migration


eclipse
 Share

Recommended Posts

I dialled the rain for my incarnation,

i became a hive for the bees,

soil for the trees,

i glimpsed another world

and passed through my migration.

 

I walked the earth looking for

the debris of my being,

i wanted to know if

i really did exist,

i ached for evidence

that i really was missed.

The night turned me

into my own death certificate

written in braille,

the rains became my eyes

translating me so i could not

fail to see i was an invention.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Larsen M. Callirhoe

wow so deep eclipse. you certainly have a nake for scenery and imagery. you are very articulate with your metaphors nd similies. i really digged reading your poem nd all of them your served on the platters of this forum for us to savor the taste o succulent poetry.

 

victor

Larsen M. Callirhoe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi eclipse,

 

A poignant sense of reckoning of one's mortality.

 

These lines are truly memorable:

 

...

I walked the earth looking for

the debris of my being,

...

the rains became my eyes

translating me so i could not

fail to see i was an invention.

 

 

Thank you.

goldenlangur

 

 

Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

David W. Parsley

Hi Eclipse, this carries your signature startling perspective and sequence of image. I felt transported in this world in which the poet can search for evidence of his/her own existence and its meaning.

 

I found the two 'really's more distracting than useful, both musically and dictionally.

 

For me, the closing substitution of eyes with rain, coupled to a translation, seems internally inconsistent even for surreality. It also became conflicted with the need for braille, sapping that image's power.

 

I like the idea that you are led to discover yourself as an invention. By whom? Are the rest of us invented also? Thought provoking.

 

- Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.