eclipse Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 I dialled the rain for my incarnation, i became a hive for the bees, soil for the trees, i glimpsed another world and passed through my migration. I walked the earth looking for the debris of my being, i wanted to know if i really did exist, i ached for evidence that i really was missed. The night turned me into my own death certificate written in braille, the rains became my eyes translating me so i could not fail to see i was an invention. Quote
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 wow so deep eclipse. you certainly have a nake for scenery and imagery. you are very articulate with your metaphors nd similies. i really digged reading your poem nd all of them your served on the platters of this forum for us to savor the taste o succulent poetry. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe
goldenlangur Posted November 17, 2011 Posted November 17, 2011 Hi eclipse, A poignant sense of reckoning of one's mortality. These lines are truly memorable: ... I walked the earth looking for the debris of my being, ... the rains became my eyes translating me so i could not fail to see i was an invention. Thank you. Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying.
David W. Parsley Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Hi Eclipse, this carries your signature startling perspective and sequence of image. I felt transported in this world in which the poet can search for evidence of his/her own existence and its meaning. I found the two 'really's more distracting than useful, both musically and dictionally. For me, the closing substitution of eyes with rain, coupled to a translation, seems internally inconsistent even for surreality. It also became conflicted with the need for braille, sapping that image's power. I like the idea that you are led to discover yourself as an invention. By whom? Are the rest of us invented also? Thought provoking. - Dave Quote
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