Portage

[fdelano]

Pairs of teenage boys bounced

150 pound packs, slung

between them on a pole, its

length perfect for the rhythm

that shifts the weight up

and down to average 70 pounds

or nothing for each black-clad

boy to bear.

 

They walked the ancient

"Old Man’s Trail," winding

with the terrain, fixed rest stops

for rice and tea. They had

not been warned of the dangers

of bombs from planes unseen,

but they would fear their sergeant

more than any tales of danger.

 

Six month’s of training and culling

produced teams of hard-muscled

and mentally prepared load bearers,

intent on never shaming themselves

or their comrades without weapons.

 

Arms and other supplies they

hauled for uncounted miles,

watching the ground and their

used tires sandals, threading

along the trail at the foot

of kharsts and across slat and rope

bridges, spans that were

repaired almost daily.

 

 

Those that survived, returned,

passing new units

that continued the march

like caterpillars along

the Ho Chi Minh Trail.

 

Now the survivors are old

men with white beards

and memories, wearing

the same type of black

pajamas and rubber flip-flops

on their feet. Little has changed

except there are no more bombs.

 

Those of us who flew the planes

and rained bombs on the flow

miles below, now have time

to wonder what it was all for,

and tote up our guesses

of the number of casualties,

with private body counts.

[JoelJosol]

I like how the plot unravelled, keeping my interest through to the end. I also like the tone of the Narrator, spoken matter-of-factly, of something really poignant as the violence of warfare. I also liked the internal rhyming scheme and alliterations.

[goldenlangur]

Hi fdelano,

 

The reference to Ho Chi Minh Trail suggests the Vietnam War:

 

Those that survived, returned,

passing new units

that continued the march

like caterpillars along

the Ho Chi Minh Trail.

 

A terrible rite of passage, both in terms of the war and the men's own emotional and psychological scars:

... mentally prepared load bearers,

intent on never shaming themselves

or their comrades without weapons.

 

 

Yes, what a horrendous 'load' they carry beyond the conflict and into their old age.

 

 

 

 

Thank you.

[eclipse]

solidly crafted and a pleasure to read

[David W. Parsley]

Agreed with all above, fdelano. Expressed with trademark understatement and subtlety. "Toting" the "private estimates" bespeaks on-going "portage" of a different kind for the narrator.

 

Nicely done.

 

- Dave

[fdelano]

My heartfelt thanks to all who found something in this piece. The Ho Chi Minh trail was, of course, bombers main target, trying to cut off the supplies to the south. Dave, your catch on the use of "toting" was true insight.

fdh

[abstrect-christ]

everything's been said -- nicely expressed Delano.