jainrohit Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Life is a time bomb -- ab initio 'twixt life and death a braggodacio The clock starts ticking as soon we are born duration receding with every morn Beats of the heart are tick of the timer and gasps of the breath are its confiner Its fragile so please don't try to master else the clock will start ticking faster As is with a bomb -- handle life with care life won't give a chance to repent and spare Although life's vast , dont try too fast, go slow the earth swallows waters that go off flow On the brink of youth all are full of trust every challenge will be beaten to dust Let's cross the limit , why not use drug's thrust its white gun powder , will blow us louder !! Slowly the gun powder will seep in the veins killing reflexes yet soothing your pains That false smile, is for a while it leaves strains slowly starts eroding life's fertile plains As age~ship drifts forwards ' long flow of time the bomb starts following arrow of time Our vision blurs, faint go colors, causing chagrins they all count their sins - the countdown begins Our brain grows blunt ,its no more vehement life soon becomes dearer - no more a punt Tick tock - tick tock its the final countdown it will pelt you down it will melt your crown boom !!! the bomb explodes sucking out your soul harshly streched and leached into a dark hole then comes a place that you watch with discern your soul dancing to the tunes of nocturne your flesh burns away , mighty stature bends although sad but this is how the life ends slightly as mr. elliot wrote (and sang) not with a whimper but with a bang Quote
tonyv Posted March 19, 2012 Posted March 19, 2012 A fit metaphor for life with a slam-bang allusion at the end. I enjoyed where this one led me, Jainrohit. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic
Frank E Gibbard Posted March 21, 2012 Posted March 21, 2012 Well crafted a lot of common sense and rare achievement in unforced rhyming, impressive first read of your work. Welcome all round to this community. Quote
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted March 22, 2012 Posted March 22, 2012 i agree with tony and frank. some excellent lines twited into an awesome write. very coheisive poem. much enjoyed the read and last two lines ended the poem ith and explosion of thoughts. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe
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