Letting Go

[fdelano]

Steady rain makes it easier,

 

standing naked with feet in the rising tide,

 

trying to remember times

 

we walked early in the wet sand

 

for miles, hardly even talking,

 

joined in our questing

 

of the best times we could create.

 

Now alone, that world has succumbed

 

to mundane living. I, just to stay alive,

 

in wasted pursuit growing stronger

 

by the hour since you left for higher

 

ground, away from the sea

 

and that one-time only closeness

 

we believed would never leave.

 

What do you have now? What

 

do you own with close holding

 

in the nights? How could something

 

true to the marrow become tainted

 

just by another’s appealing words,

 

another’s Adonis form? How could I

 

have misread such warmth?

 

The tidal pull becomes my craft

 

to slide me beneath, enveloped

 

with slick softness into my sudden

 

but beautiful aqua home,

 

as I give way to the flow, inhaling

 

salty sea, becoming one

 

with an uncaring world.

[David W. Parsley]

Franklin, like "Portage", this piece seems to extend your range into expression of what is deeply personal, overtly self aware and questioning. Whether the speaker is you or a fictional persona, I like it. I particularly like the simultaneous meaning of "craft" as vehicle and art. The poem's language and progression somehow validates the tragic comfort of slipping into the soft womb of the only lover the narrator feels is left him, returning Job-like naked and undone.

 

- Dave

[dr_con]

Stark, frank and straightforward... A wonderfully Dark piece with a hint of redemption in it- Hurts where it needs to (a little to well at the moment) . Loved It!

 

DC&J

[fdelano]

David and Dr_Con, I feel limited in responding to your well-appreciated comments that often find more in my work than I knew was there. Thank you.

fdh

[Aleksandra]

The sound of your poem makes me want to read your poem again, and again, fdelano. I loved the tone and the melancholy in it. This is a wonderful poem.

 

Aleksandra

[tonyv]

Yea, pretty morbid. I like it. The other has "left for higher ground." The "beautiful aqua home" makes it sound appealing, wondrous, until "inhaling salty sea" takes the reader back to reality.

 

Tony