dedalus Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 I want to hold you but I cannot hold you … not in front of a policeman not when the lights are turning green not when people are looking not when your eyes are shining not when a cough is coming not when a war still rages not when the climate changes not when children are sad and hungry unless perhaps when it rains and we can smile in one another’s eyes and hide under a big umbrella but the people will bump into us from before and behind and say, move along, move along, move along! Quote Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Wow Brendan, Love the surprise imagery and the repetition that moves the reader along. This is a feel good poem that warms the heart. No conflict here, the last stanza brings this lovely moment into the real world with ease and grace. This is so nice to read and feel. Thanks. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Hey Brendan, Tinker! Brendan- I love this- It captures a certain mood I've lived (am living) perfectly;-) Tink hate to disagree it is all conflict and tension- The failure to just reach out and be human unless... And then the result is Move along;-) Although I agree it is a feel good poem.... Brilliant! DC&J Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted March 27, 2012 Share Posted March 27, 2012 Hi DC and Brendan, I probably should have used the word "focus" rather than "conflict". I was referring to the path of the poet leading the reader to and through an emotion which is an extension of a previous discussion with Brendan. There was no conflict here in the sense that the poet knew exactly where when and how he wanted to lead the reader. As you said DC, brilliant. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 Good one, Brendan. It features a complete absence of self pity or indulgence, no pulpit banging. Just the ethos of lovers who want to build what lovers have always wanted - a safe place to nurture, enjoy, and preserve each other and what exists between them - but with a sense of threatening forces, among them the flow of life, the normal hubbub that can destroy as surely as a tsunami. - David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Yes, I feel a tension, but not an unpleasant one. It's like anticipation. Everything should be just right ... Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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