Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus



Recommended Posts

I want to hold you

but I cannot hold you …

not in front of a policeman

not when the lights are turning green

not when people are looking

not when your eyes are shining

not when a cough is coming

not when a war still rages

not when the climate changes

not when children are sad and hungry


unless perhaps when it rains

and we can smile in one another’s eyes

and hide under a big umbrella


but the people will bump into us

from before and behind and say,

move along, move along, move along!

Drown your sorrows in drink, by all means, but the real sorrows can swim

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow Brendan, Love the surprise imagery and the repetition that moves the reader along. This is a feel good poem that warms the heart. No conflict here, the last stanza brings this lovely moment into the real world with ease and grace. This is so nice to read and feel. Thanks.



~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey Brendan, Tinker! Brendan- I love this- It captures a certain mood I've lived (am living) perfectly;-) Tink hate to disagree it is all conflict and tension- The failure to just reach out and be human unless... And then the result is Move along;-) Although I agree it is a feel good poem.... Brilliant!



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi DC and Brendan, I probably should have used the word "focus" rather than "conflict". I was referring to the path of the poet leading the reader to and through an emotion which is an extension of a previous discussion with Brendan. There was no conflict here in the sense that the poet knew exactly where when and how he wanted to lead the reader. As you said DC, brilliant.



~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

David W. Parsley

Good one, Brendan. It features a complete absence of self pity or indulgence, no pulpit banging. Just the ethos of lovers who want to build what lovers have always wanted - a safe place to nurture, enjoy, and preserve each other and what exists between them - but with a sense of threatening forces, among them the flow of life, the normal hubbub that can destroy as surely as a tsunami.


- David

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.