These eyes

[JoelJosol]

These eyes, these big, round eyes

are huge basins you can fill up to overflowing.

Pour onto them like a downpour,

your glances and smiles.

 

These eyes will open wide like windows,

to let you charm like an evening breeze.

Their pupils will dilate unabashedly,

like stars twinkling between the shifting clouds.

 

These large, round eyes will close

only when like a multimedia file,

your impressions are stored

in my network of synapses.

 

These eyes are my compass,

always pointing themselves to you.

[tonyv]

Hi Joel,

 

I would categorize this fine poem as a sonnet. You liken the eyes in each case to something that can be filled with your beloved, first as a liquid, then as light, and finally as data. From the ending couplet, it would seem that care should be taken to ensure that plenty of space is available on the hard drive in order to accommodate the multimedia file referenced in the third quatrain; something tells me that it's enormous.

 

Tony

[goldenlangur]

Hi JoelJosol,

 

Great sensual details and what passion comes across in this verse of yours!

 

Particularly enjoyed this:

 

JoelJosol wrote:

.....

These eyes are my compass too,

always pointing themselves to you.

 

 

goldenlangur

[Aleksandra]

Wonderful imageries and expressions Joel. Much enjoyed with this one:

 

These eyes will open wide like windows,

to let in your charm like an evening breeze

 

Well done my friend.

 

Aleksandra

[JoelJosol]

Thank you guys, Tony, GL, and Aleksandra. For a while, I thought I dried up in my writing. Then, this poem came naturally.

[Tinker]

Hi Joel, Poems that come naturally are the best kind. I agree with Tony, this is a sonnet with all the beauty and emotion of the masters revisited in this modern day "little song". Nice.

 

~~Tink

[JoelJosol]

Thanks, Tink.