JoelJosol Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 These eyes, these big, round eyes are huge basins you can fill up to overflowing. Pour onto them like a downpour, your glances and smiles. These eyes will open wide like windows, to let you charm like an evening breeze. Their pupils will dilate unabashedly, like stars twinkling between the shifting clouds. These large, round eyes will close only when like a multimedia file, your impressions are stored in my network of synapses. These eyes are my compass, always pointing themselves to you. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hi Joel, I would categorize this fine poem as a sonnet. You liken the eyes in each case to something that can be filled with your beloved, first as a liquid, then as light, and finally as data. From the ending couplet, it would seem that care should be taken to ensure that plenty of space is available on the hard drive in order to accommodate the multimedia file referenced in the third quatrain; something tells me that it's enormous. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldenlangur Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hi JoelJosol, Great sensual details and what passion comes across in this verse of yours! Particularly enjoyed this: JoelJosol wrote: ..... These eyes are my compass too, always pointing themselves to you. goldenlangur Quote goldenlangur Even a single enemy is too many and a thousand friends too few - Bhutanese saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleksandra Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Wonderful imageries and expressions Joel. Much enjoyed with this one: These eyes will open wide like windows, to let in your charm like an evening breeze Well done my friend. Aleksandra Quote The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth - Jean Cocteau History of Macedonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Thank you guys, Tony, GL, and Aleksandra. For a while, I thought I dried up in my writing. Then, this poem came naturally. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinker Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Hi Joel, Poems that come naturally are the best kind. I agree with Tony, this is a sonnet with all the beauty and emotion of the masters revisited in this modern day "little song". Nice. ~~Tink Quote ~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~ For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoelJosol Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 Thanks, Tink. Quote "Words are not things, and yet they are not non-things either." - Ann Lauterbach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.