dr_con Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Missing I miss you and this missing is never going to go someplace else or leave It will always be right here close to my heart even when vultures pick my bones clean in long gulps greedily swallowing my passionate stardust ochred impermanence I will still ache for you. Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 this resonates with me. i feelyearning, longing,desire to rekindle something not finished in arelationship.well penned.it flowsand the rhyth throughout the read. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 I very much like that this one is personal, and I get it. But the penultimate line confines the reader to the speaker's bias toward the other person. If "lovingly" was omitted or replaced with something different or more ambiguous, the poem would touch upon an entire gamut of feelings. For example, as I was reading this, I felt sad, angry, frustrated, lonely, all of it until that line brought me back to the speaker's view. In most cases, affection is the last emotion I experience when my mind wanders to the people I miss. But that's probably because going there usually involves backtracking through devastation and destruction, lol. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted April 25, 2012 Author Share Posted April 25, 2012 Hey Tony- Thanks for the input- edited slightly. It's interesting this was a reflection on my last relationship which was going through a major shift (One of many) and I started reflecting on the concept of missing eventually going to the loss of my mother 18 years ago and how just because she's gone doesn't mean I love her any less- After time I actually do love all my Xs including the 'bad' one's... I have no idea if this is a common human trait or its just me;-) Thanks for the feedback- I actually find this adjusted version to be almost too cruel- But it probably is a better piece;-) Juris Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Ultimately, where you're at with it is the best place to be, but the only way we get there is by attaining a certain level of maturity. It's the only way to be at peace. And when we do get to that point, with the passage of time or however we each individually get there, we're probably in the minority. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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