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Poetry Magnum Opus

The mermaid


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An addict I became, at night

the mermaid's song arrived,

she sang an unearthly melody

containing a hidden recipe.

The music and I were transformed

the closer I got to the shore.

The mermaid shared her divinity

and enquired about human mortality,

she intimated the recipe comprised

of an ecstatic divine duality.

The mermaid played, customers appeared,

they experienced an ecstatic feast

followed by a celestial aftertaste.

The dream was the same of the people

that came, evocative music of a siren

who lives eternally in the distant

waters escaped into the night.

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Larsen M. Callirhoe

love this mesmerizing enchantment. exalt for a subject i love. tho a realistic reality is not as plausible she is a siren as much more would resemble a sea cow methinks, but than again what do i know. but i enjoyed reading this.



Larsen M. Callirhoe

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I like this a lot, Barry. This reader identifies with the speaker and, because of it, finds the arrival of other "customers" unsettling. It evokes feelings of jealousy and greed, of wanting the song all to oneself.


"Ecstatic" works well in L10, but I think you should find a different word describe "feast" in L12. "Celestial aftertaste" is inspired.



Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic

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