eclipse Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 An addict I became, at night the mermaid's song arrived, she sang an unearthly melody containing a hidden recipe. The music and I were transformed the closer I got to the shore. The mermaid shared her divinity and enquired about human mortality, she intimated the recipe comprised of an ecstatic divine duality. The mermaid played, customers appeared, they experienced an ecstatic feast followed by a celestial aftertaste. The dream was the same of the people that came, evocative music of a siren who lives eternally in the distant waters escaped into the night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted April 21, 2012 Share Posted April 21, 2012 love this mesmerizing enchantment. exalt for a subject i love. tho a realistic reality is not as plausible she is a siren as much more would resemble a sea cow methinks, but than again what do i know. but i enjoyed reading this. victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 I like this a lot, Barry. This reader identifies with the speaker and, because of it, finds the arrival of other "customers" unsettling. It evokes feelings of jealousy and greed, of wanting the song all to oneself. "Ecstatic" works well in L10, but I think you should find a different word describe "feast" in L12. "Celestial aftertaste" is inspired. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 Fine and fun reflection- Enjoyed the implications of the whole thing! Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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