dr_con Posted April 27, 2012 Share Posted April 27, 2012 Night Oracles Every night is filled with oracles we forget we are their revelations a projection of the divine with this link this grand experiment this this coming to conclusion I reach out cell phone one hand sunset in the other a colony of bats whirl wind descend upon this quiet street a squeeking cheerful multitude I ecstatically curse and the voice sharing space/time responds I have a message for you the bat means change embrace this she says from two-thousand mitigated miles satellite nodes translating wonder And I do The Me that loves all of it Eyes intuiting cat wrongness even before its stripes appear in the slightly drunk dark a delicious foraging skunk the ordinary miraculous bleeds all over my life and yours lest we fail to remember how gloriful it truly is. Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David W. Parsley Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Hey, doc, I really like this rapturous piece. There may be more to say later, but I didn't want too much time to go by, without expressing some appreciation. The stuttering "this this" is the kind of device that can be implemented only by the sure craftsman, augmenting the breathlessly spontaneous tone of the piece. Interesting diversion to variation on a word, "gloriful," to make sure the reader will not blow by it or check off the stock response entry on his/her list, and to just plain get the right meaning after all. Again, not recommended for any but the sure hand. One of your best! - Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdelano Posted April 28, 2012 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Wonderful words for those who see beauty and wonder in everything, especially the heavens. When I was able to walk my country road, I marvelled at how beautiful are so many varieties of weeds we kill for a manicured lawn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Excellent poetry: strange and inevitable, accessible, yet at the same time challenging the reader to dare start seeing things. The last 7 lines draw it together nicely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 1, 2012 Author Share Posted May 1, 2012 Thank you all for stopping and and commenting- David I am pleased that the parts worked for you- Benjamin thanks was hesitant about the last 7 but they felt right;-) Many thanks to all for taking the time to read and stop by;-) Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larsen M. Callirhoe Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 i enjoyed reading this. usually people add something i being guilty of putting stuff in poems especially at the ending that spell it out and is not needed. n ths case the ending of your poem is like extra jelly on a jam sandwich that makes the poem sweater. well put. if i was a kid again exploring the world your poem takes me back.... thank you... victor Quote Larsen M. Callirhoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyv Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 I agree with Dave on the stutter. It's a terrific effect. I also like Franklin's musing re weeds and grass. "We forget we are their revelations" (and not the other way around) hits hard right at the get-go. I really like cell phone one hand sunset in the other a colony of bats whirl wind descend upon this quiet street and the two-thousand/mitigated miles/satellite nodes/translating/wonder. Of course, "cat wrongness" makes the "all of it" okay. Tony Quote Here is a link to an index of my works on this site: tonyv's Member Archive topic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_con Posted May 6, 2012 Author Share Posted May 6, 2012 Thanks Tony, Victor- I'm grateful for your enjoyment;-) Quote thegateless.org Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.