Shadows

[JoelJosol]

At dawn, I stand upon this beach, recalling how

our friendship unraveled like a distant mountain

when its color shifts from grey to green.

 

But I fear, it's more like a shadow on these sands

as the day matures, just when your warmth

catches up with me like a lover's hand.

 

I know you are here despite an overcast

visiting my sky, vanishing our shadow.

[Aleksandra]

How long I haven't enjoying a poetry Joel... Thank you for this wonderful write. Wonderful imageries, and expressions. The title I loved. I love how this poem starts and ends. Beautiful complete work. Lovely poetry composition.

 

Thank you for sharing Joel.

Much enjoyed

 

Aleksandra

[JoelJosol]

Thank you, Aleksandra. I've been busy with work lately. I am glad that I am able to write again.

[Aleksandra]

I am glad to read again from you Joel. I have been busy too, so I am glad to read wonderful poetry by all of you.

 

Thanks my friend

 

Aleksandra

[goldenlangur]

Hi JoelJosol,

 

 

Your poems of late have a contemplative tone and this one certainly is one of them. Love the way you use "shadow" here to suggest the poignance of parting and memories, particularly these lines:

 

 

JoelJosol wrote:

 

.... vanishing our shadow,

once clearly defined on these sands.

 

 

A small niggle " unraveled" seems a little odd in relation to "mountain". But I could have got the connection and your intent wrong. In which case do ignore this point.

 

 

goldenlangur

[JoelJosol]

GL, I was looking for a word that paints a progressive disclosure of detail. The only other word I had in mind was unveiling but is much farther to a mountain as diction.

[JoelJosol]

Tweaking ...

[tonyv]

The two similes work well. At first you consider the mountain: it's shift from gray to green is simply beautiful. Then you liken the friendship to the beach and a shadow on its sands. This image is also beautiful, though it has a touch of sadness: shadows are gray, and the day is coming to an end. The sun's warmth "catches up" to the narrator at the eleventh hour, just as the sun gives way to the clouds.

 

Tony

[JoelJosol]

Hi Tony, thanks for the reflection on the details.

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

hi joel,

 

the imagery is beautiful in this write. your diction flows in this one in my opinion. i love the reflection in the sand part and the touch about the mountain changing color shows the poets mood change in reflection. very nice.

 

larsen

[JoelJosol]

Thank you, too, Larsen. My beach vacation is providing me the material to write. I usually wake up around 5 am, to catch the blue cast of dawn, with my camera. And I keep on shooting until 7am, before the light gets harsh on the beach.