Jump to content
Poetry Magnum Opus

The First Friendly Fire


Frank E Gibbard
 Share

Recommended Posts

Frank E Gibbard

On some blasted plain out of Africa

Early man, a proto-form arrives at a

Moment - did not think: this is what

Our lingua franca calls: momentous.

How could they, unblessed by such

Things as words? We can just guess

What Cro-Magnon grunts then came

At nascent sparks of flame from dumb

Mouths which heretofore had a diet of

Cold meat to gnaw. Such promise this

Fire bore, as a prototype Prometheus

Of yore took in hand a brand new brand,

First of its kind to do so. Men knew not

The power of fire our Mankind had begot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

David W. Parsley

Frank, this is an outstanding use of symbol and myth. In this case, somewhat anachronist diction (e.g. final couplet) actually adds something more than mere homily or didact to the piece - at least for me. I really like "nascent spark of flame from dumb mouths," reflecting current anthropological speculation concerning this period.

 

The form interests me, too. It first struck me as a "quasi-sonnet," but I see a sufficient number of patterns for end rhyme and internal rhyme, that I must acknowledge that it may simply be a form unfamiliar to me. If so, I would be grateful for some enlightenment.

 

- Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
Frank E Gibbard

The form interests me, too. It first struck me as a "quasi-sonnet," but I see a sufficient number of patterns for end rhyme and internal rhyme, that I must acknowledge that it may simply be a form unfamiliar to me. If so, I would be grateful for some enlightenment.

 

Thanks, sorry to be late replying David. Coincidence only I did 14 lines, so the form just panned out as is. Thanks for the positives. Frank

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Frank, I thought the content was fascinating. You explore the origins of language and the power it brings. Awesome.

 

The form of this poem doesn't precisely emulate any established form I recognize but it would be called a nonce form. A form developed specifically for this poem.

 

It could also fall under the generic heading of a "sonnet" because it is:

  1. lyrical, a meditation. A sonnet should sing not tell a story.
  2. a quatorzain, a poem written in 14 lines. (not all 14 line poems are sonnets but almost all sonnets are quatorzains) This quatorzain could be said to be made up of 4 tercets followed by a couplet if you followed the rhyme scheme breaks. If you break the quatorzain by thought units it would be a quatrain followed by an octave and finalized by a couplet.
  3. metric. This piece is written in accentual verse, the rhythm of everyday speech with approximately 3 major stresses per line. The lines are isometric, written with approximately the same length and meter. Sonnets are primarily written in accentual syllabic verse, iambic pentameter but this standard has been repeatedly broken by many sonneteers.
  4. rhymed, random near rhyme employed internally, end-rhyme scheme aaa bxb xcc ddx ee, x being unrhymed. (interesting pattern) This rhyme scheme is not associated with any of the current recognized sonnet forms, but there are Unrhymed sonnets as well as many set scheme sonnets. The rules are meant to be bent.
  5. composed with a pivot or turn. Line 10 in this poem moves the conflict to resolution which is completed in the next 4 lines.

 

~~Tink

~~ © ~~ Poems by Judi Van Gorder ~~

For permission to use this work you can write to Tinker1111@icloud.com

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Frank E Gibbard

Hi Frank, I thought the content was fascinating. You explore the origins of language and the power it brings. Awesome.

 

The form of this poem doesn't precisely emulate any established form I recognize but it would be called a nonce form. A form developed specifically for this poem.

 

It could also fall under the generic heading of a "sonnet" because it is:

  1. lyrical, a meditation. A sonnet should sing not tell a story.
  2. a quatorzain, a poem written in 14 lines. (not all 14 line poems are sonnets but almost all sonnets are quatorzains) This quatorzain could be said to be made up of 4 tercets followed by a couplet if you followed the rhyme scheme breaks. If you break the quatorzain by thought units it would be a quatrain followed by an octave and finalized by a couplet.
  3. metric. This piece is written in accentual verse, the rhythm of everyday speech with approximately 3 major stresses per line. The lines are isometric, written with approximately the same length and meter. Sonnets are primarily written in accentual syllabic verse, iambic pentameter but this standard has been repeatedly broken by many sonneteers.
  4. rhymed, random near rhyme employed internally, end-rhyme scheme aaa bxb xcc ddx ee, x being unrhymed. (interesting pattern) This rhyme scheme is not associated with any of the current recognized sonnet forms, but there are Unrhymed sonnets as well as many set scheme sonnets. The rules are meant to be bent.
  5. composed with a pivot or turn. Line 10 in this poem moves the conflict to resolution which is completed in the next 4 lines.

 

~~Tink

A bit tardy treplying Tink. Thanks for the comment and the sterling analysis of form, cheers. Frank

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.